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Cole_jw

Offline (the 12/19/2014 at 10:19pm) | Search for a member

Cole_jw

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 472
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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Cole_jw's page activity

Visits<b>DG95</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 7:01pm<b>rickyvil</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 1:44am<b>itsashmarbaby</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 7:05pm<b>jamie_elocin</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 6:15pm<b>sarah5745</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 5:52pm<b>FrenchMixer</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 3:26am<b>AllThatXO</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 11:56pm

Cole_jw's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Cole_jw's badges

Cole_jw's favorite FMLs

Today, I met an American guy at a bar. I felt flattered when he said, "You know what they say about Swedish girls, all so beautiful." After a pause, he filled in with, "What the fuck happened to you?" FML

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42588) - you deserved it (10836)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for several moments stunned, still pooping. FML

#21308801
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32676) - you deserved it (4222)

On 11/30/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by pooplife - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father for permission to take his daughter's hand in marriage. He asked me "Which one?" I said "Uh, the one I'm dating... Lisa." He belched and said, "Yeah sure, throw 'er off a cliff for all I care. Piss off, boy." So much for chivalry. FML

#21308242
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33065) - you deserved it (2986)

On 11/29/2014 at 4:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML

#21300331
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31943) - you deserved it (3306)

On 11/16/2014 at 9:26pm - misc - by no - United States

Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML

#21288917
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31258) - you deserved it (2608)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:55am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, at my apartment complex, I was carrying a bag of trash up to the dumpster. A guy stopped his car and helped me carry it the rest of the way. I thanked him and he asked me out. I explained that I was married. He grabbed the trash bag and carried it back to my apartment. FML

#21285821
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35756) - you deserved it (3955)

On 10/26/2014 at 6:46pm - love - by mellielynnemily - United States

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

#21282836
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32235) - you deserved it (3363)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm - work - by Australian Lifeguard - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML

#21276776
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33559) - you deserved it (4570)

On 10/13/2014 at 6:20am - intimacy - by Drafrica (woman) - South Africa

Today, I got back from a weekend at my best friend's house. Apparently, he and his friend invented a new game. It involves sticking duct tape to their pubic hairs, ripping them out, and sticking as many as possible on my face and body before I wake up. FML

#21276742
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31702) - you deserved it (3335)

On 10/13/2014 at 4:17am - misc - by wtfguys - United States

Today, I went out to lunch with my girlfriend. I asked if she was going to finish her meal, hoping to steal a bite or two. She somehow took this as me calling her fat, threw her drink at me, and stormed off. I just wanted some steak. FML

#21209874
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47316) - you deserved it (10294)

On 07/15/2014 at 4:37pm - love - by Jeff - United States

Today, as I was picking up my 5-year-old brother from school, he hugged a girl from his class to say goodbye. His classmate's mom and I looked at each other, thinking it was adorable, until my brother decided to dry hump the side of his classmate's thigh. FML

Today, my sister ran into my room unannounced while I was on webcam with a potential employer. Before I could react, she looked at my screen, said "Damn, he's fucking hot." and flashed him. FML

#21191852
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52107) - you deserved it (4735)

On 06/28/2014 at 8:26pm - work - by justno - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43009) - you deserved it (6138)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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