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CodyStimson

Offline (the 09/23/2014 at 6:31pm) | Search for a member

CodyStimson

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 247
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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CodyStimson's page activity

Visits<b>trickmick12</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 7:54pm<b>BioChemEGirl</b> - the 07/02/2013 at 1:56am<b>jerrydliner</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 12:56am

CodyStimson's FML badges

Consolation prize

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CodyStimson's favorite FMLs

Today, I was bored so I began to try to convince my boyfriend that Albert Einstein was actually African-American, and that he painted himself white so he would be accepted as a scientist. Due to his competitive nature, he replied, "I already knew that babe." FML

#20745866
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49483) - you deserved it (8746)

On 06/25/2013 at 2:12am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I used a public restroom. I saw my sister's shoes walk into the stall next to me, so I gave her a little nudge with my foot. We then nudged each other until I walked out and saw a homeless man with the same shoes as my sister. He then tried to hold my hand. FML

#20745749
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26056) - you deserved it (40452)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my daughter's obsession with Canada got out way of hand when she was suspended for climbing up the flagpole, in an attempt to replace the flag with a red-and-white maple leaf one. FML

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

#20695159
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63158) - you deserved it (5071)

On 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by life insurance for 1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML

#17984134
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29300) - you deserved it (5988)

On 10/14/2011 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by myasshurts - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was stuck in a room with a man who was catching flies. That I could cope with, until he insisted on turning the lights out because it was 'stressing out' his flies. FML

#17546019
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21494) - you deserved it (2073)

On 08/22/2011 at 7:04am - work - by anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my father spent half an hour trying to convert my cat to Christianity. He has already done this with my other two cats. He's completely serious and thinks they are born-again Christians. FML

#17072330
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31367) - you deserved it (2871)

On 07/11/2011 at 10:15pm - animals - by CatOwner (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

#14330238
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30076) - you deserved it (3227)

On 12/25/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I pulled over to help an attractive girl on the highway in the middle of nowhere. When I asked if she needed help she told me she was going to try starting her car one more time. She then started to make fake engine noises and told me that she was good to go and that I should be on my way. FML

#6528104
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35878) - you deserved it (5326)

On 11/30/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in IKEA, furniture shopping with my dad. He was looking at one couch that was particularly small. I said "dad that couch is for like a midget." I look over to see a midget looking at me, sitting on the same couch in a different color. He definitely heard me. FML

#809473
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25795) - you deserved it (62403)

On 04/04/2009 at 11:40pm - misc - by Nikki (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

#560138
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97918) - you deserved it (30287)

On 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by SLA (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, at the restaurant where I work, I served a table of 4 middle-age women. Before greeting the table, I was deciding between saying "Can I get you anything to drink?" and "Can I start you off with something?" My actual greeting? "Can I get you ladies off?" FML

#243465
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43555) - you deserved it (17954)

On 03/08/2009 at 5:02pm - misc - by serverdessert - United States (Maryland)

Today, I won $5000 dollars from a lottery ticket and tried giving the man next to me a high five. He had no hands. FML

#1702
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27692) - you deserved it (8878)

On 01/19/2009 at 5:26am - money - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)



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