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Code's favorite FMLs
by parched / 11/02/2009 at 12:30pm / United States (Indiana) / Money
Today, I was handling corrosive chemicals when I accidentally spilled a beaker of Hydrochloric Acid on myself. I had to strip naked and use the emergency shower with my boss and my hot coworker watching. The worst part was when I realized my coworker was laughing at the size of my penis. FML
by Anonymous / 08/03/2009 at 2:33pm / United States (Maryland) / Work
Today, I had just gotten a milkshake with some friends. We were about to drive past my ex's house, so I though it would be funny to throw the milkshake in his yard. Turns out, if you're going 50mph and try to throw a shake out the window, it comes right back at you. FML
by Anonymous / 06/08/2009 at 1:47pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting in my basement watching IT. I heard a knocking at my door and turned the outside lights on to see a clown outside staring in at me. I freaked out and began screaming and jumping around like a Chihuahua on drugs. My friends told me it should be on YouTube within the week. FML
by dumbo / 05/29/2009 at 4:14pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML
by keeks_25 / 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Anonymous / 03/31/2009 at 10:23pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML
by sucks / 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm / United States / Intimacy
by Stixchop / 02/26/2009 at 6:21pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Gob / 01/16/2009 at 9:36am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I walked in on my husband going down on another woman. Instead of speaking, he looked at me,… Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss my ass" in the middle of a packed… Today, I lost my virginity. We did it on the floor in my step-sister's room, and the entire time he…
- Today, at my oldest sisters wedding she forgot something borrowed. she looked at me and said if I'm… Today, three of us were working, one guy wanted to stay for a longer shift and the other wanted to… Today, my boyfriend went to the ER. I ran to catch the nearest city bus. My sandal breaks. I had to…