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Code's favorite FMLs
by parched / 11/02/2009 at 12:30pm / United States (Indiana) / Money
Today, I was handling corrosive chemicals when I accidentally spilled a beaker of Hydrochloric Acid on myself. I had to strip naked and use the emergency shower with my boss and my hot coworker watching. The worst part was when I realized my coworker was laughing at the size of my penis. FML
by Anonymous / 08/03/2009 at 2:33pm / United States (Maryland) / Work
Today, I had just gotten a milkshake with some friends. We were about to drive past my ex's house, so I though it would be funny to throw the milkshake in his yard. Turns out, if you're going 50mph and try to throw a shake out the window, it comes right back at you. FML
by Anonymous / 06/08/2009 at 1:47pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting in my basement watching IT. I heard a knocking at my door and turned the outside lights on to see a clown outside staring in at me. I freaked out and began screaming and jumping around like a Chihuahua on drugs. My friends told me it should be on YouTube within the week. FML
by dumbo / 05/29/2009 at 4:14pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML
by keeks_25 / 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Anonymous / 03/31/2009 at 10:23pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML
by sucks / 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm / United States / Intimacy
by Stixchop / 02/26/2009 at 6:21pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Gob / 01/16/2009 at 9:36am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, a week after dropping my car off for the third time in a month at the dealership because of…
- Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been flirting with for months. Immediately after he gave… Today, I had to say to my 23-year-old son that it's not a compliment to tell a woman that he wants… Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought she already left to go back to FL…