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Code's favorite FMLs
by parched / 11/02/2009 at 12:30pm / United States (Indiana) / Money
Today, I was handling corrosive chemicals when I accidentally spilled a beaker of Hydrochloric Acid on myself. I had to strip naked and use the emergency shower with my boss and my hot coworker watching. The worst part was when I realized my coworker was laughing at the size of my penis. FML
by Anonymous / 08/03/2009 at 2:33pm / United States (Maryland) / Work
Today, I had just gotten a milkshake with some friends. We were about to drive past my ex's house, so I though it would be funny to throw the milkshake in his yard. Turns out, if you're going 50mph and try to throw a shake out the window, it comes right back at you. FML
by Anonymous / 06/08/2009 at 1:47pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting in my basement watching IT. I heard a knocking at my door and turned the outside lights on to see a clown outside staring in at me. I freaked out and began screaming and jumping around like a Chihuahua on drugs. My friends told me it should be on YouTube within the week. FML
by dumbo / 05/29/2009 at 4:14pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML
by keeks_25 / 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Anonymous / 03/31/2009 at 10:23pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML
by sucks / 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm / United States / Intimacy
by Stixchop / 02/26/2009 at 6:21pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Gob / 01/16/2009 at 9:36am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I discovered that my wife actually encourages my three year-old son to sleep in our bed, as… Today, it's the first day of my two-week stay at my in-laws' house. They forbid drinking, smoking,… Today, one of my boyfriend's friends commented on how small my boobs are. My boyfriend defended me,…
- Today, I had to drive my sister home. We drove the half hour south to get to my Dad's, only to get… Today, like we do every year, my family and I went on vacation. Also today, like she does in every… Today my boss fussed at me for something my co-worker did yesterday "because you were sitting right…