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Code

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 1367
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Code's page activity

Visits<b>Okayokay123</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 11:21pm<b>tuckit</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 8:46pm<b>PandoraM</b> - the 05/29/2013 at 3:31am<b>pat4prez</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 7:59pm

Code's FML badges

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Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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Code's favorite FMLs

Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML

by ohno / 07/13/2011 at 12:43am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

by 44haley44 / 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

by Bobby M / 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm / Ireland (Carlow) / Health

Today, I learned that ham is part of a pig, and not a completely different animal. I'm eighteen. FML

by acab93 / 02/10/2011 at 5:37pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter told my son that Santa is not real. Of course, being a child, he started to cry. My only problem is, my son is 11 and my daughter is 6. FML

by Cherie / 12/07/2010 at 1:25pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was helping an older lady return her previously bought items to customer service. As she walked away and said "Thanks," I tried to say "You're welcome" and "No problem" at the same time. I ended up saying "Your problem". She scowled at me. FML

by romedizzle / 11/24/2010 at 4:52am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, a cop almost rear-ended my car, slammed on the gas with no warning, swerved around me, flipped me the bird, then cut me off and then drove a full ten miles under the speed limit. When I changed lanes to overtake him, he pulled me over for road rage. FML

by serveandprotectyeahright / 11/20/2010 at 9:00am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, a telemarketer found me so weird that he hung up on me. FML

by Anonymous / 11/16/2010 at 3:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I injured my knee and dislocated my shoulder fighting over a cookie with my brother. He's 14. I'm 26. He still got the cookie. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2010 at 6:34am / Oman (Masqat) / Miscellaneous

Today, I wanted to punish a student for being late. I decided to start a pop quiz before he arrived. I was positive there wasn't enough time for him to finish. He scored full marks and I couldn't say a word. FML

by K_M / 08/23/2010 at 12:18am / Malaysia (Selangor) / Kids

Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML

by Fire_Crotch / 08/14/2010 at 2:27am / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I received a new debit card, so I cut the old one into pieces. I then picked up my remaining card, and realized I'd cut up the wrong one. FML

by 8to10days / 08/05/2010 at 7:14am / United Kingdom / Money

Today, while I was driving my 27 year old boyfriend 8 hours to a Pokémon event, he realized he didn't bring his DS with him. He cried about it. FML

by juli / 07/24/2010 at 1:47pm / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Love

Today, it snowed in South Carolina for the first time in 10 years. It snowed eight whole inches! I was so excited, I yelled for my kids and ran outside to build a snowman. I ran out to the steps and slipped on ice. I woke up in the hospital with a bad concussion. The snow had all melted. FML

by owwie / 02/13/2010 at 3:11pm / United States / Kids

Today, I rejected my wife for sex. She then started to masturbate next to me. I got an erection. She then rejected me for sex. FML

by paidback / 12/24/2009 at 8:10pm / United States / Intimacy