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CobraLazerFace

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CobraLazerFace

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5141
  • Number of comments : 118
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About CobraLazerFace : Looking for lucrative way to acquire street cred.

CobraLazerFace's page activity

Visits<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 11:10am<b>shudson186</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 10:25pm<b>isuckwithnames</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 10:24am<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 12:02am<b>INashaI</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 10:35pm<b>WarriorBl00d</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 7:57pm<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 5:56pm<b>Wabbajack789</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 5:37pm<b>the_undead</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 7:23pm<b>groovy579</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 3:05pm<b>xfoxen</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 11:51am<b>Ohthatsnasty</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 11:07pm<b>wild_cherry</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 6:25pm<b>ayshas</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 2:35pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 11:15am<b>shadow04141998</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 10:49pm<b>jt3693</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 9:46pm<b>m5ar123</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 4:19pm

CobraLazerFace's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of CobraLazerFace's badges

CobraLazerFace's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28933) - you deserved it (13522)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was taking some clean bedsheets down from the top of the wardrobe. As I pulled the top sheet down, a cat jumped onto my face, claws and all, before falling to the floor and running away. Thing is, I don't own a cat and I have no idea where in the house it has hidden now. FML

#20972130
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39373) - you deserved it (2304)

On 11/27/2013 at 2:08am - animals - by Seriously_Scaredy_Cat - United States

Today, my ex's mom got a job as our new soccer coach and recognized me from our New Year's party last year. She made me, and me alone, do 10 laps around the field in the rain for breaking her son's heart. FML

#20971434
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44162) - you deserved it (10256)

On 11/26/2013 at 3:00pm - love - by Amanda (woman) - United States

Today, my boss's obese bully of a grandson had a seizure. Being the only physician around, I had to rush in to tend to him. Except it wasn't a seizure as such. My daughter had found my taser and used it on him. FML

#20971381
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44301) - you deserved it (4673)

On 11/26/2013 at 2:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom told me that when my sister and I were born, the first thing my dad said was, "I hope they don't turn out vegetarian." I did. FML

#20971339
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36327) - you deserved it (9052)

On 11/26/2013 at 1:35pm - misc - by fack (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to pick up my little brother from his friend's house. When I got there, he ran off screaming that he didn't know me. His friend's parents believed him. FML

#20971159
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40093) - you deserved it (2719)

On 11/26/2013 at 8:07am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend has a fetish for cats. I think I'm going to have to meow before we do anything together. FML

#20971142
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39639) - you deserved it (4944)

On 11/26/2013 at 7:17am - intimacy - by HaedLei (woman) - United States

Today, my 7 year old daughter explained to a taxi driver that she was born from my "vagina that doesn't have hair". He winked creepily at me and said, "I bet it doesn't." FML

#20970485
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40359) - you deserved it (4992)

On 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm - misc - by jazopalchris (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was at the grocery store, when a little boy looked up at me and asked if I was a prostitute. FML

#20970235
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39674) - you deserved it (11507)

On 11/25/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I have to spend the whole day in a moving truck with my dad. He had beans for dinner, and it's too cold to crack open a window. FML

#20970198
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35749) - you deserved it (3233)

On 11/25/2013 at 1:58pm - misc - by cb - United States (Indiana)

Today, after having some drinks at the club, I went home with this awesome girl. When I woke up, I thought the house looked really familiar. It belonged to my ex's younger sister. FML

#20970124
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45695) - you deserved it (16539)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by sister sister - United States (New York)

Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML

#20969815
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61862) - you deserved it (4243)

On 11/25/2013 at 1:16am - intimacy - by why god - United States (California)

Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML

#20969751
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52369) - you deserved it (5438)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by LadyLola (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boss claimed that I've been lying to get days off because apparently nobody can be so unlucky as to have three family members die within a month. I am just that unlucky, and suspended. FML

#20969727
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46487) - you deserved it (2047)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:03am - work - by unemployed and bereaved (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I realized that no matter what I accomplish in life, I'll always be remembered for being the son of a woman so stupid that she claimed she used to be Elvis Presley's mistress. She was still an infant when he died. FML

#20968220
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41365) - you deserved it (2733)

On 11/23/2013 at 6:45pm - misc - by fs (man) - United States (Minnesota)



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