About CobraLazerFace : Apparently you need 1000 comments to be able to use sarcasm here.
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CobraLazerFace's favorite FMLs
Today, I was walking around my college campus when someone asked me if I had gotten separated from my tour group. He didn't believe me when I said I was a student there. This happens all the time. FML
by Anonymous / 03/24/2014 at 11:29pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Vampprobs / 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/24/2014 at 4:28pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, I was ordering a pizza over the phone. When the guy asked for my order, I yelled "Hey, you guys wanted pepperoni, right?" In reality, I was yelling this to my cat. College hasn't made me many friends so far. FML
by Anonymous / 03/24/2014 at 4:01pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, during my dinner break, I was forced to listen to a coworker talk about how he dumped his needy ex for another woman. I'm the ex. We kept our relationship secret from our coworkers. I guess now I know why he dumped me. FML
by Anonymous / 03/24/2014 at 2:56am / United States / Love
by chocochoco / 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to a coffee shop. As I headed over to stand in line, I tripped over my own feet. I got back up, then tripped up yet again. Everyone was staring, and I was so mortified that I went to leave. I then struggled with the door under their glares before realising it opened the other way. FML
by butterbody / 03/23/2014 at 7:02pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by doesn't fuck on the first, thank god / 03/23/2014 at 4:25pm / United Kingdom (Southend-on-Sea) / Love
Today, my non-English-speaking grandma bought me a new t-shirt. It would've been sweet if it didn't have the word "bondage" written on the back in pretty, bold letters. I had no choice but to wear it while we went shopping. FML
by Anonymous / 03/23/2014 at 12:59pm / Egypt / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/23/2014 at 12:05am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/22/2014 at 7:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, the guy I've been dating told me with a wink that before he'll go on any more dates, he'd require me to take a series of "oral exams" to prove I'm right for him. I think he actually expected that to work. NEXT. FML
by Anonymous / 03/22/2014 at 6:01pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML
by campus pussy / 03/22/2014 at 5:08pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, at a family gathering, it emerged that my now ex-fiancé has been sleeping with his brother's girlfriend for some time now. A fight broke out, the police were called, and more than one of his relatives are blaming me for him cheating with her. FML
by Anonymous / 03/22/2014 at 1:31pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was treating a patient at the hospital where I'm a dentist. This particular gentleman was old and slightly deaf. After completing the procedure I gestured to the spitoon and asked him to spit. He got up, steadied himself, and spat straight in my face. FML
by Dr.Anonymous / 03/22/2014 at 7:56am / India (Maharashtra) / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…