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CobraLazerFace

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CobraLazerFace

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5194
  • Number of comments : 118
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About CobraLazerFace : Looking for lucrative way to acquire street cred.

CobraLazerFace's page activity

Visits<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 11:10am<b>shudson186</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 10:25pm<b>isuckwithnames</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 10:24am<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 12:02am<b>INashaI</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 10:35pm<b>WarriorBl00d</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 7:57pm<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 5:56pm<b>Wabbajack789</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 5:37pm<b>the_undead</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 7:23pm<b>groovy579</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 3:05pm<b>xfoxen</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 11:51am<b>Ohthatsnasty</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 11:07pm<b>wild_cherry</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 6:25pm<b>ayshas</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 2:35pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 11:15am<b>shadow04141998</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 10:49pm<b>jt3693</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 9:46pm<b>m5ar123</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 4:19pm

CobraLazerFace's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

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CobraLazerFace's favorite FMLs

Today, due to the dry weather, my nose became dry and began to bleed so I plugged it with toilet paper and went about my business. Forgetting about it, I later went out to smoke a cigarette. Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fire as well. FML

#21050725
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35787) - you deserved it (40215)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:48pm - health - by anonymous - United States

Today, my brother came to my first standup comedy act. He'd apparently read my material beforehand, and kept finishing my jokes for me. FML

#21050455
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49202) - you deserved it (4964)

On 02/04/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by DeeDee - Austria (Wien)

Today, I was ringing an elderly gentleman up at work. As I went to package up the buns he ordered, he held up a hand and told me to wait. He then looked me in the eyes, started squeezing them, then winked and told me to go ahead. I've never felt so violated. FML

#21050427
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39445) - you deserved it (4034)

On 02/04/2014 at 4:42pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, a kid in class kept chatting to his friend, and was made to swap seats. Every time the guy he swapped with moved, the stench from his armpits wafted over. It smelled like nacho cheese crossed with ball sweat. It got so bad that I eventually had to go dry heave in the toilets. FML

#21050316
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36702) - you deserved it (3213)

On 02/04/2014 at 1:55pm - health - by even axe would smell better (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML

#21050194
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53716) - you deserved it (6634)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:50am - kids - by LadyDeadpool88 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at the grocery store, an elderly woman asked for help with some tea. I lent her a hand, spending a good twenty minutes reading different labels out loud until she found one she liked. After she was done, she handed me a pamphlet and said, "You're a nice girl. I hope you don't go to hell." FML

#21050005
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40670) - you deserved it (4363)

On 02/04/2014 at 1:16am - misc - by Lithiac - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks basically threatened to kill herself if I don't start thinking about having a child with her soon. FML

#21049518
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55217) - you deserved it (6325)

On 02/03/2014 at 5:47pm - love - by well i'm fucked (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a teddy bear. I thought it was a sweet thing to do, until I saw him open a slit in its back while visiting later in the day and removing a bag of weed. He gave me a teddy bear just so he could smuggle drugs past my parents. FML

#21049461
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43548) - you deserved it (6011)

On 02/03/2014 at 4:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I found a Google search for "erectile dysfunction" in my browser search history, along with pages about treatments for it. I'm a woman, and I live alone. FML

#21049445
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44840) - you deserved it (3403)

On 02/03/2014 at 4:16pm - misc - by jai90 (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I dreamed that Robert Downey Jr. kept flirting with me and asking me out. Each time, I refused him, because I'm taken. When I proudly told my boyfriend, he said, "What the hell? I could've kissed the mouth that kissed the Iron Man!" FML

#21049393
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40912) - you deserved it (8315)

On 02/03/2014 at 3:11pm - love - by Can't Believe It. - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after years of insomnia and going to doctors to help get a regular sleeping pattern, I finally fell asleep without the help of medication, only to dream about being chased by an angry seal and singing to Rihanna with a horse. This is probably why I don't sleep. FML

#21049132
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41014) - you deserved it (3806)

On 02/03/2014 at 8:29am - health - by Sleepless (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, as usual, I stress ate. After having my exams prolonged for an extra week, I ate three extremely large packs of Skittles, and then threw them all up. Taste the rainbow, puke the rainbow. FML

#21048665
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37832) - you deserved it (14082)

On 02/02/2014 at 10:26pm - health - by Sad Student - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was singing in the shower but couldn't hit the higher notes. My wife complained and 2 minutes later she ran a tap causing my shower to go freezing. I shrieked. My wife said my pitch was still wrong. FML

#21048056
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39429) - you deserved it (8041)

On 02/02/2014 at 11:53am - misc - by deargodthepain (man) - United States

Today, the highlight of my day was when I figured out that my little brother's toy dump truck could actually dump stuff out. I'm 18. FML

#21048030
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35171) - you deserved it (6982)

On 02/02/2014 at 11:13am - misc - by LarissaT18 (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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