About CobraLazerFace : Apparently you need 1000 comments to be able to use sarcasm here.
CobraLazerFace's FML badges
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
CobraLazerFace's favorite FMLs
Today, I was walking around my college campus when someone asked me if I had gotten separated from my tour group. He didn't believe me when I said I was a student there. This happens all the time. FML
by Anonymous / 03/24/2014 at 11:29pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Vampprobs / 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/24/2014 at 4:28pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, I was ordering a pizza over the phone. When the guy asked for my order, I yelled "Hey, you guys wanted pepperoni, right?" In reality, I was yelling this to my cat. College hasn't made me many friends so far. FML
by Anonymous / 03/24/2014 at 4:01pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, during my dinner break, I was forced to listen to a coworker talk about how he dumped his needy ex for another woman. I'm the ex. We kept our relationship secret from our coworkers. I guess now I know why he dumped me. FML
by Anonymous / 03/24/2014 at 2:56am / United States / Love
by chocochoco / 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to a coffee shop. As I headed over to stand in line, I tripped over my own feet. I got back up, then tripped up yet again. Everyone was staring, and I was so mortified that I went to leave. I then struggled with the door under their glares before realising it opened the other way. FML
by butterbody / 03/23/2014 at 7:02pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by doesn't fuck on the first, thank god / 03/23/2014 at 4:25pm / United Kingdom (Southend-on-Sea) / Love
Today, my non-English-speaking grandma bought me a new t-shirt. It would've been sweet if it didn't have the word "bondage" written on the back in pretty, bold letters. I had no choice but to wear it while we went shopping. FML
by Anonymous / 03/23/2014 at 12:59pm / Egypt / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/23/2014 at 12:05am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/22/2014 at 7:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, the guy I've been dating told me with a wink that before he'll go on any more dates, he'd require me to take a series of "oral exams" to prove I'm right for him. I think he actually expected that to work. NEXT. FML
by Anonymous / 03/22/2014 at 6:01pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML
by campus pussy / 03/22/2014 at 5:08pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, at a family gathering, it emerged that my now ex-fiancé has been sleeping with his brother's girlfriend for some time now. A fight broke out, the police were called, and more than one of his relatives are blaming me for him cheating with her. FML
by Anonymous / 03/22/2014 at 1:31pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was treating a patient at the hospital where I'm a dentist. This particular gentleman was old and slightly deaf. After completing the procedure I gestured to the spitoon and asked him to spit. He got up, steadied himself, and spat straight in my face. FML
by Dr.Anonymous / 03/22/2014 at 7:56am / India (Maharashtra) / Work
- Today, I was told by my "friend" that I'm 'not a very nice person', all because our opinions differ… Today, my mother who knows nothing about technology, asked why the T.V. turned off. She then yelled… Today, I found out that six hours of my work didn't save and has disappeared from my laptop, so now…