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CobraLazerFace

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CobraLazerFace

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5491
  • Number of comments : 128
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About CobraLazerFace : Looking for lucrative way to acquire street cred.

CobraLazerFace's page activity

Visits<b>omgbrainZ</b> - yesterday at 8:29pm<b>frankiero</b> - yesterday at 2:16pm<b>SpiderInsomniac</b> - yesterday at 1:21pm<b>anormalperson</b> - yesterday at 12:54pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 1:00am<b>saba_ajira</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 12:09am<b>Dabombr</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 11:57pm<b>Aquamarine9</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 11:49pm<b>sweetbliss3</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 10:49pm<b>SuchDogeManyWows</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 10:35pm<b>MissLynne</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 10:33pm<b>ThatEngineerGirl</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 9:02pm<b>GroupWorkSucks</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 7:44pm<b>doggirl8</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 7:23pm<b>funkychicken245</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 6:45pm<b>melons</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 6:24pm<b>ChristianH39</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 6:18pm<b>NeverComments</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 6:02pm

CobraLazerFace's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

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CobraLazerFace's favorite FMLs

Today, my two cats decided to have a brawl on top of me. I was just trying to get to sleep. Now I'm covered in scratches. FML

Today, I let my dog outside to play. He shat on three cars, played dead in the middle of the street, and chased my neighbors' cat into a pool. When he came back into the house, he had a note taped to his back saying "IOU 1 lawsuit". FML

Today, some alarm, somewhere in my house, is making a low battery noise. I've checked every smoke detector multiple times, and I can't find it. It has been hours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if the sound has just invaded my brain. FML

Today, a guy I had been casually seeing asked me to dinner. Thinking he could be wanting to make things serious, I got all dressed up. Turns out he got a girlfriend and just wanted to tell me in person to avoid things being awkward. We then waited in silence for our meal. FML

Today, an older gentleman came into my work for underwear. I helped him find his size, pulled out a pair of navy ones and he then turned to me and said, "I don't want dark colours because I can't tell if I've shit myself." He then continued looking for all the white pairs. FML

#21163612
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41154) - you deserved it (4313)

On 06/05/2014 at 4:11am - work - by unashamed - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I figured I needed to go on a diet when I discovered I could make farting noises with my neck. FML

#21163432
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34928) - you deserved it (16177)

On 06/05/2014 at 12:11am - health - by fat and alone - United States (Alabama)

Today, while on the highway, a guy in a truck sped up to pass me. He was hauling a trailer, which hit me and ran me off the road. I called the cops and followed him all the way into town, where the cops pulled him over. They let him go without even a ticket, because, "He didn't know he hit you." FML

#21162885
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45275) - you deserved it (3578)

On 06/04/2014 at 3:30pm - misc - by Off_Road (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my mother-in-law confessed that for the longest time, she had fantasies about killing me for "ruining" her daughter's life, basically because I'm not wealthy enough for my mother-in-law's standards. She made sure to let me know the situation hasn't changed at all. FML

#21162663
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42185) - you deserved it (3497)

On 06/04/2014 at 10:34am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, a coworker asked me why this week's report was not uploaded to the server. I've been writing these reports once a week for a year and they take a whole day to write. Upload them to what server? FML

#21162641
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37296) - you deserved it (5683)

On 06/04/2014 at 9:56am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in the fitting rooms at work, a 10-year-old kid threw a coat-hanger directly at my face. The kid's father didn't apologise on his behalf, but instead congratulated him on what he called "a wicked shot". FML

#21162381
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43299) - you deserved it (3944)

On 06/04/2014 at 1:07am - work - by anonymous - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I got to explain to someone that "enjoying the warm, rich aromas of fecal matter" is not a good subject to use as an ice breaker for making friends. FML

#21161981
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34987) - you deserved it (4284)

On 06/03/2014 at 6:51pm - misc - by Aether - United States (Texas)

Today, a customer told me, "Girls your size can't bend at the waist." I couldn't stop laughing at the imagery long enough to be really offended. FML

#21161933
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34326) - you deserved it (5043)

On 06/03/2014 at 6:02pm - work - by jennythezebra (woman) - United Kingdom (Croydon)

Today, less than a day after my cranky downstairs neighbor passed away, I woke up to banging sounds against his apartment ceiling, like the ones he used to make whenever I walked around during the night. I'm shitting myself in fear. FML

#21161740
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44512) - you deserved it (4190)

On 06/03/2014 at 3:01pm - misc - by mdsfkljsfsdrewr (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I was talking to one of my British friends online, and he told me to say "yew anchors" a few times really fast. I'm a fairly stupid person, and wasn't very focused, so I did as he said. When I finally figured what the words meant, my dad had heard and grounded me for cursing. FML

#21161539
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30674) - you deserved it (9097)

On 06/03/2014 at 11:36am - kids - by properpissed (man) - United States (California)



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