About CobraLazerFace : Apparently you need 1000 comments to be able to use sarcasm here.
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CobraLazerFace's favorite FMLs
Today, the fire alarm went off at work. My office is on the second floor, and the door to the stairs were jammed shut. The only way out was jumping out the window. The best part was breaking my leg due to someone burning their lunch. FML
by timv94 / 07/23/2014 at 9:34pm / United States (Kentucky) / Health
by TCRII / 07/23/2014 at 7:52pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm / United States (Oregon) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by swiggityswooty / 07/23/2014 at 12:09am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/23/2014 at 12:04am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML
by Face fucking palm / 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by Inthedumps / 07/22/2014 at 8:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/22/2014 at 8:43pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Transportation
Today, I went to my weekly AA meeting. It was a huge crowd and I was the guest speaker. Not 5 minutes into my speech, I was booed off stage and banned from further attendance because I accidentally wore a Jack Daniel's shirt. FML
by dypshyyt / 07/22/2014 at 7:20pm / United States (Florida) / Health
Today, I was prepping for an interview after several months of unemployment. I had just finished brushing my teeth when I reached back and grabbed a towel behind me to wipe my face. Turns out it wasn't a towel, it was my newly dry-cleaned suit jacket that my wife had put there for me. FML
by Infadel / 07/22/2014 at 5:55pm / United States (California) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/22/2014 at 1:39pm / United States (California) / Kids
by d4rkxf0x / 07/22/2014 at 11:54am / United States (Texas) / Geek
Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML
by and the truth comes out / 07/22/2014 at 4:44am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/21/2014 at 6:14pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, I had some hot phone sex with my long-distance girlfriend. Half-way through, my mom stormed… Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds… Today, after my husband's phone buzzed like crazy all morning, I decided to pick it up and see what…