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CobraLazerFace

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CobraLazerFace
  • Town/Country : 'Murrica
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2528
  • Number of comments : 106
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About CobraLazerFace : Looking for lucrative way to acquire street cred.

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CobraLazerFace's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that whenever I send my son to his room, he goes on his iPod and buys the most expensive apps he can find. So far I've been charged $600. FML

#16332593
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19105) - you deserved it (45205)

On 05/24/2011 at 8:02pm - kids - by StupidApple -

Today, my boss called me into his office to proudly show me about an hour's worth of videos of his recent holiday. The videos were all of goats and cows eating grass outside his window in Pakistan. FML

#16324366
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25356) - you deserved it (2883)

On 05/24/2011 at 3:31am - work - by goatvideosarelame (man) - Singapore

Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told her to just honk the horn. She said that I was being selfish, that sex is a beautiful thing, and that we should let them finish. We sat there for at least five minutes. FML

#16287224
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39726) - you deserved it (5390)

On 05/21/2011 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by squirrels69ing (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, it was raining heavily. I saw a large puddle by the edge of the road near with a passing lady. Thinking it would be funny to splash her, I swerved to hit the puddle. The puddle was deeper than I thought. I lost control of the car, spun out, and hit two parked cars. FML

#16276951
495 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10255) - you deserved it (204101)

On 05/21/2011 at 2:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, my car ran out of gas. I was 20 feet away from the gas pump and the only person I could ask for help was the attendant, who'd asked me out a week ago. I'd said no, and so did he. FML

#16249846
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26711) - you deserved it (13699)

On 05/19/2011 at 7:46am - misc - by stranded (woman) - United States

Today, I threw a surprise birthday party for my 3 year old. There was music, snacks and lots of toys. My 3 year old is a cat. FML

#16231154
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10827) - you deserved it (34880)

On 05/17/2011 at 11:04pm - animals - by kaileigh10 -

Today, I went bowling with some friends. After a few beers I was showing off spinning the ball around on the tip of my finger. One trip to the ER and two crushed nuts later, I've found that mixing alcohol and heavy shiny balls is not a good idea. FML

#16216813
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8747) - you deserved it (44721)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:28am - intimacy - by paulwatson93 (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML

#16188674
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33719) - you deserved it (6376) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/15/2011 at 2:19pm - misc - by bouda - France (Centre)

Today, I walked through a spider's web with hundreds of baby spiders on it. My afro is now infested. FML

#16129508
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43661) - you deserved it (15066)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:34pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I work at McDonald's. The entire crew, myself included, got visibly excited that we had new trash cans and dust pans. FML

#16063941
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26864) - you deserved it (5835)

On 05/06/2011 at 1:15am - work - by Tyler (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML

#15962479
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43029) - you deserved it (4651)

On 04/28/2011 at 11:53am - animals - by Cecilly2010 -

Today, I picked up on a telemarketer and started speaking in Portuguese. It turns out that this particular telemarketer spoke it as well. Every time I hung up, he called back. Telemarketers get really excited when they find out someone else speaks their language. FML

#15853054
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26880) - you deserved it (9079)

On 04/19/2011 at 11:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend finally let me take his dog on a walk, after two years of not trusting me to keep her safe. During the walk, a car drove by, causing her to run after it and pulling the leash out of my hand. Five hours later, and I still can't find her. FML

#15786852
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25330) - you deserved it (21075)

On 04/14/2011 at 7:29pm - animals - by ciararow - United States

Today, I bumped into an old school friend. I'd heard she was pregnant so the first thing I did was congratulate her. Not only was she not pregnant, but the reason she managed to get so fat was because of comfort eating due to her miscarriage last month. FML

#15775724
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32400) - you deserved it (5173)

On 04/13/2011 at 9:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I got attacked by my own dog. I don't know what will be harder, telling everyone how my dog thought I was a robber or explaining to them why a 25 year old man owns a poodle. FML

#15766373
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21124) - you deserved it (14633)

On 04/13/2011 at 3:05am - animals - by Username -



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