About CobraLazerFace : Apparently you need 1000 comments to be able to use sarcasm here.
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CobraLazerFace's favorite FMLs
Today, my husband's recent obsession with The Sopranos since James Gandolfini died went a step further into the ridiculous, when he tried to encourage some ducks to land in our swimming pool by throwing loaves of bread into it, while bellowing at them with a 'Noo Joisey' Wise Guy accent. FML
by Not Mrs Soprano / 07/08/2013 at 7:57am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by PerfectTiming / 07/08/2013 at 7:19am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Animals
by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, it's been three weeks since I moved to Germany with my own money, after my company's offices in Spain shut down. I was given a job at the headquarters here, only to have just found out that the whole company is now set to go into liquidation. FML
by Anonymous / 07/07/2013 at 3:04pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/07/2013 at 9:58am / United States (Michigan) / Work
Today, I was moving to my new apartment. I left some furniture outside as I drove to dump the first load at my new place. When I got back, everything was gone. Apparently, today is the day the donation truck was coming around to take everything we don't need. FML
by lostmystuff / 07/07/2013 at 2:35am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by nomorenakedpicsplease / 07/07/2013 at 1:21am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, during my family's traditional 4th of July weekend celebration, my water broke. I kept trying to tell them and asked them to take me to the hospital, but they couldn't hear me over the fireworks. They all just kept smiling and nodding. FML
by Anonymous / 07/06/2013 at 5:45pm / United States (Ohio) / Health
Today, my husband received the "antique" samurai sword that he bought on Craigslist with $399.99 of our money. He only shared my outrage at the waste of money when he opened the package, only to find a toy sword along with a note saying, "HAHA, TROLLED." FML
by juliearis / 07/06/2013 at 3:45pm / United States (Connecticut) / Money
by BlueB / 07/06/2013 at 11:42am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/06/2013 at 3:11am / United States (California) / Transportation
by walker / 07/06/2013 at 12:17am / United States / Love
Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML
by -_- / 07/05/2013 at 5:59pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/05/2013 at 10:26am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, while jogging, a guy tackled me and got my iPhone. Being a good runner, I caught up with him and grabbed him. Next thing I knew, I was on the ground with a policeman yelling in my ear. The guy got away. FML
by anonymous / 07/05/2013 at 2:11am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I was talking with my slightly skinflint girlfriend, who just moved in with me. “I think you… Today, I live in Romania and my walls are particularly thin. After enduring my neighbor’s parties,… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was…