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CobraLazerFace

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CobraLazerFace
  • Town/Country : 'Murrica
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2672
  • Number of comments : 106
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About CobraLazerFace : Looking for lucrative way to acquire street cred.

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CobraLazerFace's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my parents used all of the college money I have been saving up for 8 years to buy a beach house. The reason they waited until now to tell me? A tree fell on it, and they need more money for repairs. FML

#17726207
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32144) - you deserved it (1841)

On 09/12/2011 at 3:36am - money - by Me - United States

Today, I was at a pie auction. During it, I had to hold a pie in a glass case to be sold. In the middle of the auction, I raised my hand to scratch my face, and dropped the pie and broke the glass. It was worth $1000. FML

#17714395
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21177) - you deserved it (11215)

On 09/10/2011 at 9:18pm - money - by calebeutsler - United States (Texas)

Today, I needed to pay off a $35 parking ticket. To try and get some sort of revenge, I went to the bank and got 3,500 pennies, dumped them into a bucket, and refused to pay with anything besides the pennies. They called the police. I was arrested and cited $147. FML

Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML

#17625902
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29463) - you deserved it (3230)

On 08/30/2011 at 11:30pm - intimacy - by mystupidson (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my wife tried to refill the windshield wiper fluid on her own. However, she poured it where the oil goes. Now the car is having major issues. Last week I lost my job, and I have no idea how much this is going to cost to fix. FML

#17619423
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24900) - you deserved it (2813)

On 08/30/2011 at 5:35am - money - by BadTime (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML

#17613922
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22962) - you deserved it (6556)

On 08/29/2011 at 5:19pm - health - by Stan - United States (California)

Today, while having a screaming argument with my son in our front yard, I suddenly realized we are "that white trash family" in the neighborhood. FML

#17611255
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8344) - you deserved it (33195)

On 08/29/2011 at 9:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, after a long discussion, my dad still doesn't understand how evolution works, and thinks it's a myth that was debunked a long time ago. FML

#17606157
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17028) - you deserved it (6970)

On 08/28/2011 at 4:10pm - misc - by Ryan (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while paying for groceries, I opened my wallet to find that all my cash had been exchanged for Monopoly money. FML

#17598415
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30816) - you deserved it (2556)

On 08/27/2011 at 8:38pm - money - by KayDayParade - United States

Today, I found out that my company is paying more for hors d'oeuvres at one party than I will receive for my entire year long internship. FML

#17579253
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20864) - you deserved it (2863)

On 08/25/2011 at 5:55pm - work - by OfficeSlave (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I have a "drinking problem". She says I don't drink enough. FML

#17566686
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29026) - you deserved it (4906)

On 08/24/2011 at 7:34am - love - by fmlTGOD - United States

Today, my aunt and uncle stole $584 from me, since I'm moving out. Their reasoning? I stole things. When I asked what I'd stolen, my aunt looked me straight in the eye and said "Milk Duds." FML

#17566014
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26779) - you deserved it (2482)

On 08/24/2011 at 4:03am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I wanted to show my teenage daughter what we did when I was her age. We used to breakdance, so I stuck on a Grandmaster Flash track, and tried some old moves on the living room floor. I spun out of control, smacked my head into a wall and pulled a back muscle. FML

#17516862
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8956) - you deserved it (32069)

On 08/19/2011 at 3:13am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, it was my engagement party. All was going fabulously until my fiancé's dad decided to give us a toast, and completely forgot my name in front of all my family and friends. I've been with his son for 7 years. FML

#17475917
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28853) - you deserved it (2567)

On 08/15/2011 at 12:16am - love - by Alex (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was working on my new house and I was taking out a large cactus. While picking up the pieces to throw away, I noticed a spider on my forearm. Without thinking, I swiped at the spider with a piece of the cactus. I missed the spider, not my forearm. FML

#17467525
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11264) - you deserved it (21517)

On 08/14/2011 at 4:17am - animals - by romea244 - United States (Puerto Rico)



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