About CobraLazerFace : Apparently you need 1000 comments to be able to use sarcasm here.
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CobraLazerFace's favorite FMLs
by Yeppets / 07/27/2014 at 2:44pm / United States / Love
Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML
by fingwhore / 07/27/2014 at 1:12pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
Today, I had to go to the hospital to get blood taken. The nurse mentioned how pronounced and easy to see my veins are. I guess that explains why she missed five times in a row. I'm surprised my arm doesn't look like a heroin addict's right now. FML
by Anonymous / 07/27/2014 at 12:13pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, despite all of the empty seats on the bus, a man sat next to me. So close to me that our legs touched. After a few moments of silence, he got closer and whispered in my ear, "You're so quiet." FML
by SofaKingPretty / 07/26/2014 at 7:40pm / United States (California) / Transportation
by ChristinePi / 07/26/2014 at 6:09pm / United States (New York) / Money
by PrincessPromotion / 07/26/2014 at 12:29pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/26/2014 at 11:35am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by birthday girl / 07/26/2014 at 12:55am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/25/2014 at 5:18pm / United Kingdom (Derbyshire) / Love
Today, I got expelled from school. I was walking down a flight of stairs when I tripped and bumped into a kid ahead of me by mistake. He fell forward and took half a dozen people down with him. The staff think I did it on purpose, and there's talk of charges being pressed. FML
by asshalf15 / 07/25/2014 at 4:19pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I held the door open for a woman and her kids on my way out of the bank. She started accusing me of patronizing her, and when I just let go of the door in protest, she deliberately leaned in so it hit her in the face. I felt the glares from the entire bank as she pretended to cry. FML
by notadoorman / 07/25/2014 at 2:16pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by shewhopoopsinlitterboxes / 07/25/2014 at 11:54am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
by Ballsy427 / 07/25/2014 at 8:05am / United States (Armed Forces Pacific) / Work
by fuckendog / 07/25/2014 at 2:05am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals
Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML
by FML / 07/24/2014 at 11:59am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 2Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…