About CobraLazerFace : Apparently you need 1000 comments to be able to use sarcasm here.
CobraLazerFace's FML badges
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
CobraLazerFace's favorite FMLs
by Yeppets / 07/27/2014 at 2:44pm / United States / Love
Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML
by fingwhore / 07/27/2014 at 1:12pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
Today, I had to go to the hospital to get blood taken. The nurse mentioned how pronounced and easy to see my veins are. I guess that explains why she missed five times in a row. I'm surprised my arm doesn't look like a heroin addict's right now. FML
by Anonymous / 07/27/2014 at 12:13pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, despite all of the empty seats on the bus, a man sat next to me. So close to me that our legs touched. After a few moments of silence, he got closer and whispered in my ear, "You're so quiet." FML
by SofaKingPretty / 07/26/2014 at 7:40pm / United States (California) / Transportation
by ChristinePi / 07/26/2014 at 6:09pm / United States (New York) / Money
by PrincessPromotion / 07/26/2014 at 12:29pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/26/2014 at 11:35am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by birthday girl / 07/26/2014 at 12:55am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/25/2014 at 5:18pm / United Kingdom (Derbyshire) / Love
Today, I got expelled from school. I was walking down a flight of stairs when I tripped and bumped into a kid ahead of me by mistake. He fell forward and took half a dozen people down with him. The staff think I did it on purpose, and there's talk of charges being pressed. FML
by asshalf15 / 07/25/2014 at 4:19pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I held the door open for a woman and her kids on my way out of the bank. She started accusing me of patronizing her, and when I just let go of the door in protest, she deliberately leaned in so it hit her in the face. I felt the glares from the entire bank as she pretended to cry. FML
by notadoorman / 07/25/2014 at 2:16pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by shewhopoopsinlitterboxes / 07/25/2014 at 11:54am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
by Ballsy427 / 07/25/2014 at 8:05am / United States (Armed Forces Pacific) / Work
by fuckendog / 07/25/2014 at 2:05am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals
Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML
by FML / 07/24/2014 at 11:59am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…