CobraLazerFace

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Offline (the 10/06/2014 at 2:49am)

CobraLazerFace

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 34547
  • Number of comments : 144
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About CobraLazerFace : Apparently you need 1000 comments to be able to use sarcasm here.

CobraLazerFace's page activity

Visits<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 6:12pm<b>Celeden</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 12:23am<b>Kidjazzin</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 6:15pm<b>bwup</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 7:55am<b>seetei</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 4:46pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 9:37pm<b>AWildNoeAppeared</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 9:33am<b>firelord4563</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 10:03am<b>bazookajoey</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 7:35pm<b>Cheezits4dayz</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 9:02pm<b>dnabdnekdjchs</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 10:54am<b>max2732</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 10:04am<b>dylanger16</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 7:41am<b>the_fanciest_man</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 7:13am<b>allred1997</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 12:41am<b>JesterMester</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 10:21pm<b>gshocker20</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 9:33pm<b>SweetasCandy0609</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 8:51pm

Fucked!<b>dylanger16</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 1:41pm

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100 kick ass comments

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CobraLazerFace's favorite FMLs

Today, a new session started for my swimming squad. I walked down to the pool, tripped over a stray equipment bag, and belly-flopped into the pool in front of everyone, fully clothed. I'm the coach. FML

by Anonymous / 07/31/2014 at 1:00am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I got into trouble at work because a customer complained about my face tattoo, I don't have a face tattoo but I do have one behind my ear. Nonetheless, I still got written up and had to cover it with a band-aid, which ripped out hair when I took it off. FML

by heatherfeather22 / 07/30/2014 at 11:28pm / United States (Iowa) / Work

Today, my father tripped over the dog and hit a wall. He was so convinced his arm was broken that we waited for 3 hours in emergency to find out he had a bruise. FML

by anon / 07/30/2014 at 11:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I spent six hours at the ER. Why? My husband dared our seventeen-year-old son to recreate a 'Jackass' trolley-hedge diving stunt at the local supermarket. What wasn't on my groceries list was a broken arm, fractured wrist, whiplash and cuts and bruises. FML

by Anonymous / 07/30/2014 at 4:21am / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Kids

Today, while out with my boyfriend, I gave a beggar some cash, who then smiled at me and said to my boyfriend, "You have a beautiful little lady, take good care of her." Flattered, I hoped my boyfriend would agree with the compliment. He turned and said, "Hear that? He said you were little." FML

by gwengas / 07/30/2014 at 2:51am / France (Bretagne) / Love

Today, the left side of my head has officially declared its independence. Half of my hair is now curly, the rest is totally flat. FML

by anonyme / 07/30/2014 at 2:51am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of class. Thinking I got away with it, I just kept doing my work until some kid across the room says, "I could have done better." FML

by dealtit / 07/29/2014 at 11:49pm / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML

by fatty magoo / 07/29/2014 at 2:20pm / United States (Washington) / Transportation

Today, I had to sit through yet another one of my mom's, "You need to grow and gain some weight!" rants. I'm 22 and she doesn't believe me when I tell her I'm done growing. I'm pretty sure I'm not getting past 5'2". FML

by Tiny / 07/29/2014 at 4:27am / United States (Nevada) / Health

Today, I was having coffee with an old friend I hadn't seen since university. I asked about her husband; she replied, "he died" and walked away. I was confused, so I stood up and took off after her. She reminded me I was at the funeral, and then slapped me in the face. FML

by jayswizzle89 / 07/29/2014 at 3:58am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a 5 hour exam. The exam guard had clearly eaten something funky, because she kept burping loudly. When I thought it couldn't get any worse, she started farting. FML

Today, I met someone who works in radio advertising. Making conversation, I described an ad that I can't stand. He wrote it. FML

by Scotty / 07/28/2014 at 6:16am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Work

Today, my husband decided to play a recording of me breaking wind in my sleep to my whole family at the dinner table. To make matters worse, it was a compilation of different noises from over a long period of time. My family was horrified and my husband seemed proud of himself. FML

by blow away / 07/28/2014 at 12:36am / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, while out shopping, I could hear what sounded like two grown men talking about me, and they were being pretty gross. I turned around to scold them and it turned out being a dad and his 13-year-old son. He said he was, "teaching a son to be a man, and that my ass was grounds for discussion." FML

by tlm84 / 07/27/2014 at 10:54pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I listened to my best friend describe having sex with her boyfriend in explicit detail. This would have been fine, but her boyfriend is my little brother. FML

by why / 07/27/2014 at 9:55pm / United States / Intimacy