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CobraLazerFace

Offline (the 10/06/2014 at 2:49am) | Search for a member

CobraLazerFace

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10533
  • Number of comments : 144
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About CobraLazerFace : Apparently you need 1000 comments to be able to use sarcasm here.

CobraLazerFace's page activity

Visits<b>bazookajoey</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 7:35pm<b>Cheezits4dayz</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 9:02pm<b>dnabdnekdjchs</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 10:54am<b>max2732</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 10:04am<b>dylanger16</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 7:41am<b>the_fanciest_man</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 7:13am<b>allred1997</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 12:41am<b>JesterMester</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 10:21pm<b>gshocker20</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 9:33pm<b>SweetasCandy0609</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 8:51pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 8:33pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 8:15pm<b>afrahmohasin</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 9:43pm<b>psychopolarbear</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 7:22pm<b>hailstorm187</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 7:05pm<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 12:12pm<b>KazuTrumpet1512</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 4:22am<b>M4nt1d</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 1:00pm

Liked!<b>dylanger16</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 1:41pm

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CobraLazerFace's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49123) - you deserved it (21236)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, upon arriving at a town festival, I was immediately singled out by a rent-a-cop. He began questioning if I had been drinking, saying he smelt it on my breath. He smelt his own breath. FML

#21227846
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35642) - you deserved it (2550)

On 08/02/2014 at 7:44pm - misc - by porkabye (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I managed to not laugh as a potential high-profile Italian client with a heavy accent repeatedly pronounced "sheet metal" as "shit metal". Unfortunately, my boss and a senior colleague couldn't contain their own laughter. We lost that deal, and our jobs are now endangered. FML

#21227795
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37037) - you deserved it (4546)

On 08/02/2014 at 6:37pm - work - by Shitmetalseller (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my girlfriend interrupted my proposal to take a selfie with the ice cream I had just bought her. She then said no. FML

#21227229
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51911) - you deserved it (5908)

On 08/02/2014 at 12:00am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was rejected by a company I applied to. When I was writing my application, I spent so much time on their website researching that the ads on my browser are almost all for their products. It's like getting rejected again with every click. FML

#21227193
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33666) - you deserved it (3437)

On 08/01/2014 at 11:23pm - work - by heartfelt - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML

#21227114
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43306) - you deserved it (7024)

On 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by WickedRene (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I won a big raffle. However, my name is so ridiculous-sounding that they thought someone was playing a prank, and pulled a different ticket. I was too embarrassed to say anything. FML

#21227005
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39819) - you deserved it (11206)

On 08/01/2014 at 7:10pm - misc - by infortunatename - United States (California)

Today, I got suspended from work after getting caught reading a work-related FML. Irony is funny, but it doesn't pay the bills. FML

#21226986
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32257) - you deserved it (15547)

On 08/01/2014 at 6:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML

#21226906
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33872) - you deserved it (22528)

On 08/01/2014 at 4:45pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I confided to my grandma that I'm suffering from depression and I feel like a burden to everyone. She replied that her grandpa used to suffer from depression too, but that he'd cured himself in the end, namely by committing suicide. Thanks, grandma, thanks. FML

#21226890
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39434) - you deserved it (3554)

On 08/01/2014 at 4:09pm - health - by lacieQ (woman) - Canada

Today, I found out that my wife of 12 years has slept with the workmen we've had working on our long term building project. They call her the "quickie queen". FML

#21226819
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53847) - you deserved it (3649)

On 08/01/2014 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I had to explain to my father why it isn't a good idea to shove a metal knife into the toaster when trying to get at a small piece of toast. This man is 45-years-old and has a PhD. FML

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

Today, my son said his first word. Unfortunately, that word was "cock." I've tried convincing myself that he's trying to say "clock" but I just can't do it. FML

#21225778
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38702) - you deserved it (6705)

On 07/31/2014 at 12:24pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had trouble carrying a box upstairs because my arms were sore from working out. My mom asked me, "Why are you working out so much then?" I didn't have the heart to tell her it was because of her 100-pound weight gain and that I didn't want to end up looking like her. FML

#21225648
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40402) - you deserved it (6489)

On 07/31/2014 at 7:51am - health - by jogginglikeitsmyjob (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

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