About CobraLazerFace : Apparently you need 1000 comments to be able to use sarcasm here.
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CobraLazerFace's favorite FMLs
Today, I managed to not laugh as a potential high-profile Italian client with a heavy accent repeatedly pronounced "sheet metal" as "shit metal". Unfortunately, my boss and a senior colleague couldn't contain their own laughter. We lost that deal, and our jobs are now endangered. FML
by Shitmetalseller / 08/02/2014 at 6:37pm / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/02/2014 at 12:00am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I was rejected by a company I applied to. When I was writing my application, I spent so much time on their website researching that the ads on my browser are almost all for their products. It's like getting rejected again with every click. FML
by heartfelt / 08/01/2014 at 11:23pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Work
by WickedRene / 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by infortunatename / 08/01/2014 at 7:10pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/01/2014 at 6:38pm / United Kingdom / Work
Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML
by whoops / 08/01/2014 at 4:45pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I confided to my grandma that I'm suffering from depression and I feel like a burden to everyone. She replied that her grandpa used to suffer from depression too, but that he'd cured himself in the end, namely by committing suicide. Thanks, grandma, thanks. FML
by lacieQ / 08/01/2014 at 4:09pm / Canada / Health
by Anonymous / 08/01/2014 at 2:27pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Intimacy
by Ljiljka / 08/01/2014 at 10:37am / Serbia / Miscellaneous
Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML
by Emliy / 08/01/2014 at 1:06am / United States (Illinois) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/31/2014 at 12:24pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids
Today, I had trouble carrying a box upstairs because my arms were sore from working out. My mom asked me, "Why are you working out so much then?" I didn't have the heart to tell her it was because of her 100-pound weight gain and that I didn't want to end up looking like her. FML
by jogginglikeitsmyjob / 07/31/2014 at 7:51am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
Today, while wandering around the big city I just relocated to, I asked a seemingly pleasant-looking lady where the nearest library was. She told me to get lost, and started laughing. Then said she was just joking and gave me directions. I'm now standing in front of a gay strip joint. FML
by lostintdot / 07/31/2014 at 7:38am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, the city shut off our water, because they said we didn't pay the bill. Turns out, it was sitting on their desk the whole time. I guess sending someone out to turn off our water was easier than checking to see if we'd actually paid the bill. FML
by fedUPwithPEOPLE / 07/31/2014 at 3:35am / United States (Alabama) / Money
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…