Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ClumsyKee

Offline (one hour ago) | Search for a member

ClumsyKee

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3208
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About ClumsyKee : An impatient, impulsive and immature artist who has attachment issues with her beloved gaming computer.

ClumsyKee's page activity

Visits<b>Edogg215</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 3:34pm<b>skinnyminhy</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 12:16am<b>Pandacupcakelove</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 11:58am<b>sniper1321123</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 8:31pm<b>Rosa223</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 11:06am<b>moondoglou420</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 8:42pm<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 8:21pm<b>drshn</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 7:32pm<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 3:12pm<b>sCrEaMiNgToAsT</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 7:02am<b>peanut012</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 2:46pm<b>brians2617m</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 3:03am<b>Pebbles89</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 11:56pm<b>daniel_0084</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 1:42am<b>monkeycrutch</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 9:21pm<b>guitarman1400</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 6:01pm<b>TheWhiteHat</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 3:58pm<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 3:47pm

ClumsyKee's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of ClumsyKee's badges

ClumsyKee's favorite FMLs

Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML

#21045407
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41363) - you deserved it (4498)

On 01/30/2014 at 5:46pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my boss let me know that I'm being laid off, via a text message that ended in "lmao". FML

#21043231
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45866) - you deserved it (3595)

On 01/28/2014 at 5:36pm - work - by soon to be unemployed (man) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

#21041278
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41415) - you deserved it (12492)

On 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by sabz21 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML

Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML

#21031998
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34857) - you deserved it (56743)

On 01/18/2014 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. FML

#21030923
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40117) - you deserved it (7705)

On 01/17/2014 at 3:56pm - health - by sausages (man) - Macedonia (Karpos)

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56625) - you deserved it (5689)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after working my shift at McDonalds, I went to clock in at my dispatch job. During a 911 call, I blurted, "Would you like to try the McRib while it's back?" FML

#21023934
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46287) - you deserved it (8711)

On 01/10/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

#21020996
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59445) - you deserved it (25796)

On 01/08/2014 at 12:43am - intimacy - by gottacatchemall (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML

#21020397
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49202) - you deserved it (4796)

On 01/07/2014 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriend came in, bitched about "boring tv," so I handed him the remote. He put on a Lifetime movie. I must be the only woman in America with this problem. FML

#21010622
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46923) - you deserved it (4750)

On 12/30/2013 at 4:38pm - love - by smokecloud_ (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a DJ friend of mine offered me a part in one of his tracks. I was flattered, and accepted. All I ended up singing was, "I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch" over and over again in the background. FML

#21008243
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37888) - you deserved it (6635) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/28/2013 at 9:46am - misc - by Cacahuete (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got a ransom note saying, "We have kidnapped your husband and won't release him unless you postpone the wedding." The wedding is tomorrow and it was in his handwriting. FML

#20998964
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50280) - you deserved it (4047)

On 12/20/2013 at 9:51am - misc - by oh why... (woman) - United States

Today, while at the gym, I noticed a creepy-looking guy watching me. When I got up from the equipment, I noticed that he sniffed the seat. I didn't say anything the first time. After he did it the second time, I asked him to stop. He bent down and sniffed it without breaking eye contact. FML

#20996147
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46003) - you deserved it (3392)

On 12/17/2013 at 6:48pm - misc - by gymgirl - United States (Texas)

Today, it was safe to say I started sleepwalking again, after I woke up with a mouth filled with soil and a ravaged plant. FML

#20995711
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36582) - you deserved it (3222)

On 12/17/2013 at 10:38am - health - by adventurousnightsbutnotinagoodway (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: