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ClumsyKee

Offline (the 06/27/2015 at 10:23am) | Search for a member

ClumsyKee

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9805
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About ClumsyKee : An impatient, impulsive and immature artist who has attachment issues with her beloved gaming computer.

ClumsyKee's page activity

Visits<b>pavingboy</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 3:57pm<b>MdMan2</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 9:56pm<b>IronicLights</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 9:47pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 6:48am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 9:52pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 12:41am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 3:34pm<b>skinnyminhy</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 12:16am<b>Pandacupcakelove</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 11:58am<b>sniper1321123</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 8:31pm<b>Rosa223</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 11:06am<b>moondoglou420</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 8:42pm<b>drshn</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 7:32pm<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 3:12pm<b>sCrEaMiNgToAsT</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 7:02am<b>peanut012</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 2:46pm<b>brians2617m</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 3:03am<b>Pebbles89</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 11:56pm

ClumsyKee's FML badges

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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ClumsyKee's favorite FMLs

Today, I managed to score a date for the first time in over a year, and was very nervous. When I was asked what I do for a living, I laughed nervously, and then blurted out, "Finger women." What I was trying to jokingly say was that I'm a gynecologist. FML

#20525332
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16962) - you deserved it (35943)

On 02/28/2013 at 2:57am - love - by notapervert - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

#20523671
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44983) - you deserved it (5629)

On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, a guy I went on one date with asked me out again via text. Being honest, I texted back, politely saying that he was a good guy but I wasn't really interested. He came over to my house, screaming about how awful I was for "text message breaking up with him" and then cracked my windshield. FML

#20522936
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36065) - you deserved it (4223)

On 02/26/2013 at 11:43am - love - by fuckedover - United States

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

#20521872
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57207) - you deserved it (4612) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML

#20520875
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27561) - you deserved it (3300)

On 02/24/2013 at 9:57pm - kids - by why the fuck would you do that - United States (Arizona)

Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML

#20518354
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30555) - you deserved it (2991)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:28am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, during a silent breathing meditation at the Buddhist center, I accidentally let one rip which echoed through the meditation chamber. If that wasn't bad enough, the follow-up odor was enough to fell a charging rhinoceros. FML

#20517185
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24788) - you deserved it (7276)

On 02/22/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulled the pen out during a meeting. My colleague looked at me, horrified. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazoned on it. I'm a man. FML

#20516811
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7000) - you deserved it (45608)

On 02/21/2013 at 9:56pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, the guy I like asked me out for the first time. It's a good thing he did it over Facebook, because I started shaking and almost threw up. I don't know how I'm going to function on our date next week. FML

#20514506
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30449) - you deserved it (7584)

On 02/20/2013 at 2:31am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a woman strapped her 8-year-old son into the seat next to me on a transatlantic flight. Thinking they'd been unable to book seats together, I offered to swap seats with her. She said she'd booked it this way intentionally, because he's a "fucking brat" on flights. She was right. FML

#20513411
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43140) - you deserved it (2249)

On 02/19/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by Sigh (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was hanging out with the guy I really like. I lifted my arms to put my hair in a ponytail when he noticed a hole that had apparently tore in the armpit of my shirt, so he put his finger through it. I haven't shaved in weeks. FML

#20513075
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18212) - you deserved it (52296)

On 02/19/2013 at 1:19am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I met my new class. There are two Kevin Smiths. Neither will agree to a nickname, they have the same hair color, and their middle names both start with J. They have told me to call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2. They both want to be Kevin 1. FML

#20512577
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38852) - you deserved it (3078)

On 02/18/2013 at 7:26pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to spend a few hours in a hospital with a toddler and a preschooler projecting vomit all over, because my husband thinks "expiration dates are for pussies." FML

#20511774
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38141) - you deserved it (4271)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

#20510255
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30631) - you deserved it (6264)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend finally said that she finally felt ready to have sex with me. It ended up being so terrible that I only managed to get some pleasure out of it when my mind drifted to the thought of going to Olive Garden later and eating some of their breadsticks. FML

#20508270
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41065) - you deserved it (9797)

On 02/15/2013 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by Acolyte of the Bacon God (man) - United States (Florida)



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