Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ClumsyKee

Offline (the 03/13/2015 at 5:59am) | Search for a member

ClumsyKee

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8297
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About ClumsyKee : An impatient, impulsive and immature artist who has attachment issues with her beloved gaming computer.

ClumsyKee's page activity

Visits<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 9:52pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 12:41am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 3:34pm<b>skinnyminhy</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 12:16am<b>Pandacupcakelove</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 11:58am<b>sniper1321123</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 8:31pm<b>Rosa223</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 11:06am<b>moondoglou420</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 8:42pm<b>drshn</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 7:32pm<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 3:12pm<b>sCrEaMiNgToAsT</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 7:02am<b>peanut012</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 2:46pm<b>brians2617m</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 3:03am<b>Pebbles89</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 11:56pm<b>daniel_0084</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 1:42am<b>monkeycrutch</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 9:21pm<b>guitarman1400</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 6:01pm<b>TheWhiteHat</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 3:58pm

ClumsyKee's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of ClumsyKee's badges

ClumsyKee's favorite FMLs

Today, while walking out of a store eating a candy bar, a homeless man tried to run up and steal my candy. I stuck a leg out and tripped him. The only thing I could think of to yell at him was, "Swiper no Swiping". My kids have ruined my coolness. FML

#21366982
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53) - you deserved it (17)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:57pm - misc - by Dad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I met my new roommate. I hadn't even gotten her name yet, because the first thing she said to me instead was that she wanted to hang her confederate flag on the wall. I'm black. FML

#21326235
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35542) - you deserved it (4294)

On 12/29/2014 at 12:00am - misc - by okay17 - United States

Today, I was chatting with the girl of my dreams, a real heart-to-heart. Everything was going great, and I asked her if she'd like to get coffee together sometime. She immediately backed away and excused herself, mumbling something about not dating left-handed people. Huh? FML

#21325382
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30949) - you deserved it (2312)

On 12/27/2014 at 4:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, at work, I gave a piece of candy to a co-worker I have a crush on. She looked at me weirdly and walked away. I then remembered that my friend wrote "penis" on the wrapper. FML

#21314853
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28990) - you deserved it (6837)

On 12/10/2014 at 3:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while fasting for a medical test, my blood sugar became so low that I had heart palpitations and passed out. My doctor's advice? Fast, so he can run more tests. FML

#21314271
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29114) - you deserved it (2408)

On 12/09/2014 at 4:39am - health - by fucking moron (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I snooped around my parents' room looking for hidden Christmas presents. The only hidden things I found was a whip, two ball gags, several other sex toys, and a load of newspaper clippings about the JFK assassination. What the fuck? FML

#21312961
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21246) - you deserved it (34027)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:10am - misc - by .__. (woman) - United Kingdom (Brent)

Today, I performed the Heimlich maneuver on a man. He cussed me out because the piece of food he was choking on was "a perfectly good portion of lobster". FML

Today, I farted while I was in the car with my driving instructor and my partner. They couldn't hear it, but it smelled so bad that my instructor thought there was a gas leak, and he made us switch cars. FML

#21312925
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30859) - you deserved it (6299)

On 12/07/2014 at 1:15am - misc - by Gassy and sassy (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I put a picture on Facebook of me without makeup. A "friend" commented: "fuk me thts hideus!!" My dad replied: "Hideous, yes, just like your godawful spelling!" My mom yelled at my dad for agreeing with the guy, and they're still fighting. Meanwhile, my self-esteem is in the gutter. FML

#21312632
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30458) - you deserved it (3352)

On 12/06/2014 at 3:22pm - misc - by fistycunt4 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for several moments stunned, still pooping. FML

#21308801
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32907) - you deserved it (4239)

On 11/30/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by pooplife - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML

#21300331
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32065) - you deserved it (3318)

On 11/16/2014 at 9:26pm - misc - by no - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

#21300031
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28483) - you deserved it (3347)

On 11/16/2014 at 4:44am - love - by tine - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my anxiety got so bad that when I stole a sword in Skyrim and resisted arrest, I had a full-on panic attack as I ran away. I ended up curling up on the sofa as my character got hacked to death on the TV. FML

#21294889
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30317) - you deserved it (7990)

On 11/08/2014 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous S'wit (man) - Portugal

Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML

#21288917
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31417) - you deserved it (2619)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:55am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML

#21280696
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35965) - you deserved it (3596)

On 10/18/2014 at 9:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: