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Offline (the 07/02/2016 at 8:11pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6754
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Cloveland99 : Hey I'm Chris what's up? Feel free to message me :)
Kik: sexybeast386

Cloveland99's page activity

Visits<b>kaya1001</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 6:50am<b>marinade18</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 10:59am<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 3:18am<b>Errrka_Whale</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 10:00pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 6:50am<b>Ari3l</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 9:35pm<b>Bree06</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 8:51am<b>Kataclysm97</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 1:21pm<b>britt902014</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 11:03pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 10:51pm<b>Aquamarine9</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 2:18pm<b>kenzie14840</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 10:52pm<b>brook823</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 10:29pm<b>lennon_</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 7:28pm<b>Ghosty546</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 2:30pm<b>PaigeLeeAnn11</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 9:12am<b>annarcheer</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 10:48am<b>AlyssaDiannaa</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 8:41am

Fucked!<b>Kataclysm97</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 7:21pm<b>Aquamarine9</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 2:49am<b>AlyssaDiannaa</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 5:31pm<b>hailleylynn</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 4:24am<b>bloodwhiterabbit</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 9:32pm<b>AmyLouR</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 5:58pm<b>summer135790</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 12:36pm<b>Jellybellybeanz</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 10:18pm<b>abylenee_</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 4:55am<b>KawaiiSushii</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 9:07pm

Cloveland99's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of Cloveland99's badges

Cloveland99's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

by jackie89 / 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Intimacy

Today, I ran into a good friend at work. I work at a jail. She doesn't. FML

by Is that..? / 07/16/2014 at 11:51pm / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, I had to explain to my boss that using a wired connection instead of wifi won't stop his computer from getting viruses. He looked at me, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, like he was a 13-year-old boy and I was a pair of tits. Then he called me clueless and told me to get back to work. FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 6:54pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, after having asked me out on Monday, the guy I like angrily cancelled our date because I "hadn't bothered" even talking to him for "several days". One day. You didn't hear from me on Monday. It's now Tuesday. That's one day, dick. FML

by fartbucket51995129565 / 06/10/2014 at 2:29pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my 15-year-old son got so enraged at a fly that kept harassing him, that he ended up slapping himself in the face as it flew by him. This caused him to fall out of his chair, at which point he broke down into a mess of tears, humiliating me in front of everyone. FML

by get a grip, son / 05/30/2014 at 4:37pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

by great 1st impression / 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm / United Kingdom (Derby) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received yet another rejection letter from a college I'd applied to. After crying for a week about how lousy I felt, my older sister gave me all 6 of the acceptance letters she'd been hiding. Turns out she's been forging rejection letters and keeping the real ones in her room. FML

by livingamongtheflowers / 05/15/2014 at 1:40am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML

by god / 04/29/2014 at 2:48pm / United Kingdom (West Lothian) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, I served a group of three teens. Their tab was $75 and they tipped me nothing. They wrote a thank you on a piece of receipt paper, put it in a glass of water and used a coaster to turn the glass of water upside down on the table, spilling water everywhere. They also stole my pen. FML

by brerj09 / 04/28/2014 at 9:35am / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I was out drinking with some colleagues, when one started ranting about some pretty sensitive subjects. There were some Latino guys nearby, and as soon as he said "I'm not racist, but..." I tried to casually get the hell out of there. We all got the crap beaten out of us anyway. FML

by fuck you, Jeff / 04/25/2014 at 7:45pm / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, I was texting a girl I like, explaining how she looks like an attractive celebrity. She responded with a picture of a very unattractive lady and asked if she looked like that. I told her if she had been caught in a burning building, then yes, that would look like her. It was of her mom. FML

by spencerlong / 04/24/2014 at 11:02pm / United States (Washington) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after an entire year spent in physical therapy recovering from three knee surgeries, I finally returned to doing light agility exercises and running on a treadmill. When I told my therapist I had never been so happy and proud, he responded with, "This usually only takes 5 months, pussy." FML

by AnonymousAndSad / 04/24/2014 at 7:42pm / United States (Iowa) / Health

Today, one of my most problematic students remained after class, whence he strongly insinuated his interest in receiving oral sex; I tried to convey just how inappropriate that was, when he interrupted, "Look, will you at least touch it?" FML

by MILF / 04/16/2014 at 6:03pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, my professor ran half a mile in the pouring rain just to return my cell phone, which I had left behind in lecture. Shocked and embarrassed, I exclaimed, "You shouldn't have!" "Damn right," he responded, "I'm 64 years old." FML

by sad but true. / 04/15/2014 at 7:18pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML

by war_monkey / 04/10/2014 at 8:20am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.