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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, a car was tailgating and honking at me while trying to pass me, so I decided to be a bitch back and go extremely slow. We got to a two lane road and the car passed me up. The man in the front seat flipped me off while pointing to his wife in the back seat who was clearly in labor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7987) - you deserved it (45546)
On 12/23/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by lois2lane (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my mom and I were going to the store. I decided to stay in the car while she went in. In the car next to me, there was a dog in the driver's seat barking at me. Bored, I barked back at it until I realized there was someone in the passenger's seat watching me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5887) - you deserved it (22060)
On 12/23/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by ApolloandDixie (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, while eating a sandwich, I saw a worm. Knowing that my friend always tries to scare me with fake worms and insects, I bit it to show her I knew it was fake. It was real. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6980) - you deserved it (20095)
On 12/22/2009 at 10:52pm - animals - by iHateWorms (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over me and the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6253) - you deserved it (30691)
On 12/22/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by funyfunkid (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I came home from my 2 week trip to Florida. At the airport, the door said "Enter Only", while a sign above it said "Do not enter." Long story short, I got arrested for "disobeying signs." Nothing says "Welcome home" like being arrested. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19749) - you deserved it (3216)
On 12/22/2009 at 5:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was going on a date with my girlfriend. When I took her home, her sister came to the door. I used to date her sister and I didn't know they were related. My girlfriend realized this, then kicked me in the crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20166) - you deserved it (8196)
On 12/22/2009 at 2:57am - love - by Dumped (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was at a family party and everyone was seeing my new glasses for the first time. My 48 year old uncle told me that I look like a hot librarian and then grabbed my ass. He was still sober. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27022) - you deserved it (2149)
On 12/21/2009 at 2:30pm - misc - by frapples1 (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I wore a pair of glasses with no lenses because I thought I'd look smarter. I ended up poking myself in the eye several times, leaving it swollen. So much for making me look smarter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2577) - you deserved it (36136)
On 12/21/2009 at 1:25am - health - by farmakakis (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was down the pub with a mate and we got onto the subject of bar fights. I said that I thought being glassed wouldnt actually hurt that much. My friend looks at me, calmly finishes his pint and then swiftly smashes his glass over my head. Turns out I was wrong. And we got kicked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6023) - you deserved it (21746)
On 12/20/2009 at 11:23pm - misc - by itstillhurts (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)
Today, I texted my Dad to tell him I'm staying at my boyfriend's house and won't be home. Since I had predictive text on, my phone didn't quite get the word 'home' - the message I sent said, 'I'm staying at Will's, I'll not be good tonight.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (9618) - you deserved it (18371)
On 12/20/2009 at 7:26pm - love - by embarrassed (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, I finally got around to writing my Christmas cards. After finishing, I realized I had written "Happy Birthday" instead of "Merry Christmas" on every single one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7838) - you deserved it (25091)
On 12/20/2009 at 5:41pm - misc - by mannnnn2717 (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I decided to attach fifteen-pound weights to each foot so I could burn some extra calories while shoveling snow. My dad asked me to move one of the cars in the driveway. When I put my foot on the gas pedal, I couldn't take it off. I ended up hitting my sister and knocking her into a snow bank. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6299) - you deserved it (35117)
On 12/20/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Klamp18 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my grandparents thought it would be acceptable to give me and my wife Christmas presents to take to my ex-wife, along with a card saying how much they missed her and to get in touch with them next time she is in town. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18215) - you deserved it (1982)
On 12/20/2009 at 8:40am - misc - by B-Rizzle (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML
I agree, your life sucks (33678) - you deserved it (2416)
On 12/20/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was about to propose. I got on my knee in front of my girlfriend and opened the box. My friend thought it would be funny to replace the ring with a condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36440) - you deserved it (3011)
On 12/20/2009 at 3:14am - love - by Catholicguy (man) - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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