Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Cloudy

Search for a member

Cloudy

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 44916
  • Number of comments : 160
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Cloudy's page activity

Visits<b>Blackhawk706</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 12:42am<b>robby9917</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 7:48pm<b>ImHaRacerNinja</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 3:52pm<b>ImTheAlpha</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 8:56pm<b>Tykki</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 8:39am<b>insanecutie</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 9:54pm<b>benjweaver</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 12:43pm<b>GranPappyBippy</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 8:18am<b>Tigre5012</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 6:39pm<b>2ndtemplar</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 11:53pm<b>CAC_Boomerang</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 9:51pm<b>Vitrolicz</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 9:33am<b>s_98_m</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 12:28am<b>jayeterror775</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 12:29am<b>1915destroyer</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 10:12pm<b>Chill_Master</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 3:07am<b>jubejube239</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 5:36pm<b>bewer415</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 7:32am

Cloudy's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Cloudy's favorite FMLs

Today, at the restaurant where I work, I served a table of 4 middle-age women. Before greeting the table, I was deciding between saying "Can I get you anything to drink?" and "Can I start you off with something?" My actual greeting? "Can I get you ladies off?" FML

#243465
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42575) - you deserved it (17707)

On 03/08/2009 at 5:02pm - misc - by serverdessert - United States (Maryland)

Today, a guy informed me that the cute, really tiny little leather bracelet with little silver hearts and several snaps that I'd found in a head shop is actually a cock ring. I'm a girl. FML

#243241
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39113) - you deserved it (11436)

On 03/08/2009 at 4:35pm - misc - by fashionVictim (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML

#242557
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50820) - you deserved it (9793)

On 03/08/2009 at 3:08pm - kids - by nutsucker (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was reading my girlfriend's girly magazine. There was an article stating that if a girl tells a guy his dick is the perfect size, she really means that it is too small. My girlfriend claims everything in the magazine is right. She told me my dick was the perfect size last weekend. FML

Today, I got my first tattoo. It was a surprise for my fiancé: our names together over a heart. I went home but before I could show him, he said we had to have a 'talk.' Now my ex's name is tattooed on my back. The kicker? Turns out I'm allergic to the ink. FML

#240686
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53635) - you deserved it (69013)

On 03/08/2009 at 4:47am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was looking at some comments on a silly YouTube video of me dancing with some friends. Someone posted a comment saying "Girl on the right is hot!!!." Next to that, it had about 31 thumbs down. I'm the girl on the right. FML

#240683
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44444) - you deserved it (9220)

On 03/08/2009 at 4:47am - misc - by Ugly (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was driving down the road when I got to a red light. I looked over and saw a hot chick in a convertible so I spoke to my window thinking she couldn't hear me "Hey girl, I may have a tiny dick but I make up for it in speed and stamina." She looked over. I forgot about the sunroof. FML

#239452
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8360) - you deserved it (78927)

On 03/08/2009 at 12:36am - intimacy - by Smash_Mouth - United States (Florida)

Today, I was going to a Harry Potter convention since I love the books so much. On my drive there I got lost, and it only got worse when my car broke down. Since I forgot my cell phone I decided to try and hitch a ride. I stood on the side of a road for two hours dressed like Ron Weasley. FML

#238492
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27376) - you deserved it (53909)

On 03/07/2009 at 11:03pm - misc - by GrLifeusx (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I left my parents house to drive 90 minutes back to college. As I was getting off the exit for my school, I realized I left my bright pink vibrator sitting on my dresser back at home. FML

#236958
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19775) - you deserved it (67817)

On 03/07/2009 at 8:15pm - intimacy - by vibratorgirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was pushing my 4 year old on the swing. I did what we call our "under doggie push": I throw her up in the air while I run underneath her before she hits me coming back down. I walked away to get my water and she yelled across the park "Can we do it doggie-style again?" FML

#234103
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55411) - you deserved it (17719)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:28pm - kids - by Dang-ItsDanielle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friend sent me an instant message, telling me how excited she was that she was accepted to a FIT Summer Program. I told her I was so proud, and that she can finally lose that excess weight. She told me that she meant Fashion Institute of Technology. FML

#233851
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14523) - you deserved it (64343)

On 03/07/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, my physics teacher asked who had implants. I raised my hand. Then he asked me to show him the implants. Shocked at his request I called him a perv. I later discovered he meant dental implants as he was teaching x rays not breast implants. FML

#232961
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12608) - you deserved it (111206)

On 03/07/2009 at 8:40am - misc - by Noname - Pakistan (Islamabad)

Today, I was having a one night stand with a guy. he told me he wanted to do it doggie style. I said okay, and as soon as i bent over on the bed, looked at me and said "let's do this with the lights off". FML

#232006
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45563) - you deserved it (11692)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:34am - misc - by fjafja - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally told my best friend whom I've secretly been in love with for two years that I was in love with her but at the last second chickened out and said I was joking. She replied with "Don't scare me like that. I thought I was going to have to find a new best friend for a second" FML

#230798
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64028) - you deserved it (6490)

On 03/06/2009 at 11:17pm - love - by crap (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I overheard my parents having sex. Trying to be the reasonable person I was, I dismissed it, realizing that sex is just normal. I quickly walked past their room when my cat ran past me into their room, cracking open the door. Now my parents think I was peeping and need therapy. FML

#228831
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71405) - you deserved it (4697)

On 03/06/2009 at 7:41pm - intimacy - by Kathrynn (woman) - United States (Oregon)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: