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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was sitting in Science class and to my surprise I felt my pants suddenly becoming warm and wet. I looked behind me to see that 4 boys from my class had inserted a small funnel into my exposed buttcrack and where pouring the melted butter from the experiment into that area. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77244) - you deserved it (20709)
On 03/10/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Sarah - United Kingdom (Bolton)
Today, the kids I teach informed me that I had spelled my name incorrectly on the board. I looked at it and assured them that I had spelled it correctly. I'm 22 and a graduate student, they're six and mentally challenged. Guess who was right? FML
I agree, your life sucks (13827) - you deserved it (53680)
On 03/10/2009 at 11:46am - work - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my boss called me into his office. I thought I was getting promoted because my sales had been really high lately. My boss shut his door behind me and asked me if I could comb his hair with a lice comb to get rid of his lice. I had to do it to keep my job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58161) - you deserved it (2025)
On 03/10/2009 at 9:02am - misc - by Janet - United States (Connecticut)
Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend bought me a Nickelback CD. FML
I agree, your life sucks (74707) - you deserved it (21208)
On 03/10/2009 at 8:46am - misc - by deez_nutz (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at work and a very obese woman came in to get a pedicure. When she took her shoes off I noticed an odd black substance on her feet. I started scrubbing it off and wondered out loud, "What IS this stuff??" As a chunk of it fell onto my lip, she replied, "Girl, that's just the fungus." FML
I agree, your life sucks (86798) - you deserved it (4660)
On 03/10/2009 at 7:55am - work - by SalonGirl (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was giving a friend a neck rub, when she started to breathe heavily. So I figured she was getting into it, so I started kissing her neck, she then turns around and says "Tell my room mate I'm having an asthma attack." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28564) - you deserved it (47002)
On 03/10/2009 at 5:56am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was taking the subway to school. It was around 6:30am and I was listening to music and catching up on homework. When I took my headphones off to readjust them, I heard some grunting. I looked over at the man across from me to see he was masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59874) - you deserved it (2505)
On 03/09/2009 at 10:04pm - intimacy - by danesy - United States (New York)
Today, I was at a dance. I was griding with this guy when I felt something move in his pants. I stood up and stepped away. He replied with "Don't flatter yourself, it was my phone". FML
I agree, your life sucks (16960) - you deserved it (41512)
On 03/09/2009 at 8:26pm - misc - by Joe (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, these kids in my math class told me to ask this girl if I could lick her clit. I basically yelled 'what's a clit'? Everyone looked at me. I'm a senior in high school, no one has yet to explain it to me. I had to google it when i got home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31082) - you deserved it (65752)
On 03/09/2009 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by danmarino (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (461588) - you deserved it (573427)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69832) - you deserved it (6279)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:54pm - misc - by missy (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my best friend resolved things with her boyfriend after he had admitted to cheating on her. I felt really guilty because I drunkenly hooked up with her boyfriend last month. She said, "I felt better when he told me that the girl was extremely ugly and bad in bed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10756) - you deserved it (81268)
On 03/09/2009 at 4:52pm - misc - by collegegirl90 - United States (Texas)
Today, my mom called and told me I got accepted to my first-choice college. I got really excited and asked her to read me the letter. As she started to read it, she said, "Oops... uh, nevermind." FML
I agree, your life sucks (62106) - you deserved it (1930)
On 03/09/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by stillwaiting (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my mother and I went to Wal-Mart to buy pads. I suggested I get tampons instead, so that I can go swimming at my boyfriend's cottage. My mother then goes to the nearest store employee and asks, "excuse me, if my daughter uses a tampon, does that mean she is no longer a virgin?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (147482) - you deserved it (8928)
On 03/09/2009 at 3:30pm - intimacy - by tamponmayhem (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was rubbing my dog's belly. He seemed to be enjoying it, his penis "came out". My boyfriend was walking by and said "at least you turn someone on." FML
I agree, your life sucks (66415) - you deserved it (6629)
On 03/09/2009 at 1:04pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
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