Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Cloudy

Search for a member

Cloudy

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 44003
  • Number of comments : 160
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Cloudy's page activity

Visits<b>Tykki</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 8:39am<b>insanecutie</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 9:54pm<b>benjweaver</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 12:43pm<b>GranPappyBippy</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 8:18am<b>Tigre5012</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 6:39pm<b>2ndtemplar</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 11:53pm<b>CAC_Boomerang</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 9:51pm<b>Vitrolicz</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 9:33am<b>s_98_m</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 12:28am<b>jayeterror775</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 12:29am<b>1915destroyer</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 10:12pm<b>Chill_Master</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 3:07am<b>jubejube239</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 5:36pm<b>bewer415</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 7:32am<b>erinlindon</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 10:35pm<b>tehaustiebear</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 7:34pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 1:58am<b>Narttu</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 1:18pm

Cloudy's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Cloudy's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in our relationship and it was great. He drove me back to my house and walked me to the door, then instead of kissing me goodbye he patted me on the back. Twice. FML

#266591
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (103516) - you deserved it (9216)

On 03/10/2009 at 10:53pm - intimacy - by petpeeeve (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was with my 6th grade class. During recess, we were talking about growing up and getting older. I said that one day, they'd start to look like me. Two of my students started crying. FML

#264101
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61264) - you deserved it (5984)

On 03/10/2009 at 7:58pm - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my cat got into the bathroom while I was changing my tampon. As I was throwing the applicator away, I felt a sharp pain around my vagina; I looked down to find him swatting at the tampon string. FML

Today, as a bartender was carding my friends, I excitedly asked if he was going to card me. The guy gave me a blank stare before finally replying, "Look, lady, I don't have time to stroke some middle-aged woman's ego." I asked because it was my birthday. I just turned twenty-one. FML

#262388
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81857) - you deserved it (6349)

On 03/10/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by rebecca (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, my parents got back from their weekend ski trip. I had a few parties over the weekend and had cleaned up absolutely EVERYTHING; beer cans, throw up, spilled drinks, etc. The only thing I forgot about was the condom someone left in my parents bed. FML

#262381
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14506) - you deserved it (65705)

On 03/10/2009 at 5:30pm - misc - by Lichelle (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went home for my grandma's 95th birthday. While there she noticed my new tongue piercing and asked why I would get it done. Before I could reply, my cousin says "So she can can make the boys happier when she's sucking on them." She's 9 years old. FML

#261877
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54291) - you deserved it (11561)

On 03/10/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by epictothemax - United States (Illinois)

Today, me and my boyfriend had some crazy rough sex. In the process I ended up with huge bruises and bite marks all over my neck and chest. I'm giving a speech on domestic violence today. FML

#260982
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28268) - you deserved it (85430)

On 03/10/2009 at 2:52pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was sitting in Science class and to my surprise I felt my pants suddenly becoming warm and wet. I looked behind me to see that 4 boys from my class had inserted a small funnel into my exposed buttcrack and where pouring the melted butter from the experiment into that area. FML

#260451
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88656) - you deserved it (26941)

On 03/10/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Sarah - United Kingdom (Bolton)

Today, the kids I teach informed me that I had spelled my name incorrectly on the board. I looked at it and assured them that I had spelled it correctly. I'm 22 and a graduate student, they're six and mentally challenged. Guess who was right? FML

#260093
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16485) - you deserved it (63027)

On 03/10/2009 at 11:46am - work - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boss called me into his office. I thought I was getting promoted because my sales had been really high lately. My boss shut his door behind me and asked me if I could comb his hair with a lice comb to get rid of his lice. I had to do it to keep my job. FML

#259626
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65213) - you deserved it (2650)

On 03/10/2009 at 9:02am - misc - by Janet - United States (Connecticut)

Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend bought me a Nickelback CD. FML

#259596
383 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83984) - you deserved it (26752)

On 03/10/2009 at 8:46am - misc - by deez_nutz (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at work and a very obese woman came in to get a pedicure. When she took her shoes off I noticed an odd black substance on her feet. I started scrubbing it off and wondered out loud, "What IS this stuff??" As a chunk of it fell onto my lip, she replied, "Girl, that's just the fungus." FML

#259526
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101064) - you deserved it (6303)

On 03/10/2009 at 7:55am - work - by SalonGirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was giving a friend a neck rub, when she started to breathe heavily. So I figured she was getting into it, so I started kissing her neck, she then turns around and says "Tell my room mate I'm having an asthma attack." FML

#259383
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32853) - you deserved it (55450)

On 03/10/2009 at 5:56am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was taking the subway to school. It was around 6:30am and I was listening to music and catching up on homework. When I took my headphones off to readjust them, I heard some grunting. I looked over at the man across from me to see he was masturbating. FML

#256186
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67201) - you deserved it (3214)

On 03/09/2009 at 10:04pm - intimacy - by danesy - United States (New York)

Today, I was at a dance. I was griding with this guy when I felt something move in his pants. I stood up and stepped away. He replied with "Don't flatter yourself, it was my phone". FML

#254929
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19954) - you deserved it (50013)

On 03/09/2009 at 8:26pm - misc - by Joe (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: