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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I am lying next to my new husband. We went to Hawaii for our honeymoon and planned on spending the entire time in bed together. We succeeded in that goal, with both of us unable to leave each other's side for entire week. Sex? No. Food poisoning? Yes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32626) - you deserved it (2106)
On 11/28/2009 at 5:03pm - health - by IndieRox (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53685) - you deserved it (5836)
On 11/28/2009 at 12:32pm - love - by IB6UB9 - United States
Today, I realized that I am dating a 25 year old man-child. He turns 13 whenever he sees my boobs, complete with big eyes and saying "honk honk" whenever he touches them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28814) - you deserved it (9012)
On 11/28/2009 at 11:17am - love - by moon_paw (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I woke up feeling awesome. I turned to face the sunrise in the window, and as I stretched and let out a big yawn. Only for my boyfriend to say "Baby, turn back over. Your breath smells like turds." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22779) - you deserved it (8436)
On 11/28/2009 at 10:57am - love - by lol smiley face - United States
Today, I had to look at my positive ebay feedback to feel loved. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25341) - you deserved it (4364)
On 11/28/2009 at 7:22am - love - by Anon. (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, a mall cop tore up my 'Free hugs' sign. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26370) - you deserved it (10882)
On 11/28/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Cornbreesha (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend and I were gazing into each others' eyes in the moonlight after not having seen each other for a week. I thought he was going to say "I love you" and pull me in for a kiss. Instead, he said, "Since you can’t drive, we should get one of those two seater bicycles." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17769) - you deserved it (6779)
On 11/28/2009 at 1:32am - love - by tjcl (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went shopping with some friends. We were tired from walking around the mall all night, so we decided to sit and relax at a table. I was about to close my eyes when I got smacked on the forehead by an orange falling from the second floor of the mall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19801) - you deserved it (2613)
On 11/28/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Orangehead (man) - United States (California)
Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7231) - you deserved it (31794)
On 11/27/2009 at 6:36pm - misc - by Thanks (man) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)
Today, my date kissed me after our second date. The way he leaned towards my mouth was very romantic. He's pretty tall, so I stretched myself as high as possible to make the kiss as passionate as possible. That's how I ended up belching into his mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25179) - you deserved it (8192)
On 11/27/2009 at 6:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I found out that my wife had an affair with our marriage counselor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48841) - you deserved it (2394)
On 11/27/2009 at 4:39pm - love - by Nobody (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, for the third time this week, my boss made me switch desks. Each new desk is closer to the door than the last one. I think he's trying to tell me something. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22459) - you deserved it (1709)
On 11/27/2009 at 2:51pm - work - by Fmyoffice (man) - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)
Today, I got no happy birthday wishes from anyone. I decided to call my sister to see if she'd remembered. My 6-year-old niece answered, so I told her it was my birthday. She said that it's tomorrow. After ten minutes of arguing with a 6-year-old, I checked the calendar. It's tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5411) - you deserved it (47243)
On 11/27/2009 at 9:26am - misc - by forgotmyownbirthday (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. My neighbor saw. My first reaction was to come up with a cover story. I licked the window and wiped my sleeve over it to look like I was cleaning it. My neighbor came over later and gave me an early Christmas gift. Windex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5254) - you deserved it (63411)
On 11/27/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by obsessed (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I spent the entire day at the hospital and was sent home attached to an obnoxious and somewhat painful heart monitor. I felt fine and decided to go to a bonfire with a few friends. I thought everyone was being nice until I overheard the guys referring to me as an unattractive xbox. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20167) - you deserved it (1996)
On 11/26/2009 at 9:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Monday 17 June 2013
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