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CloudStrife97

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CloudStrife97
  • Town/Country : Miami, Murica
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 10 September 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 121
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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CloudStrife97's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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CloudStrife97's favorite FMLs

Today, one of my most problematic students remained after class, whence he strongly insinuated his interest in receiving oral sex; I tried to convey just how inappropriate that was, when he interrupted, "Look, will you at least touch it?" FML

#21114779
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42403) - you deserved it (3711)

On 04/16/2014 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by MILF (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I wanted to pretend to have a seizure so my baby sister could know when to call 911. When I fell down and started to pretend, she decided to drink my soda instead of helping me. FML

#21071750
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35775) - you deserved it (13730)

On 02/25/2014 at 10:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML

#20928358
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38097) - you deserved it (2670)

On 10/20/2013 at 11:51pm - kids - by momaaa1342 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I, for some reason, was talking to my mom about money. I jokingly said that the reason we're short on cash is because of her internet porn addiction. She replied, with a straight face, "How did you know?" I'm still not sure if she's joking or not. FML

#20862659
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39284) - you deserved it (4830)

On 09/01/2013 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the park playing Frisbee with my friends, when I saw a boy sitting on a bench looking rather sad. "Hey!" I yelled, and he looked up at me. I lightly threw the Frisbee in his direction, and it hit him in the face. He was blind. FML

#20788974
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51310) - you deserved it (15831)

On 07/17/2013 at 7:15pm - kids - by WasntMe - United States

Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

#20640565
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61845) - you deserved it (9125)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the bar owner I work for told us to pay better attention to our drunk patrons, and to start cutting them off. A fellow bar maid asked how we are supposed to tell when it's time. He pointed at me and said, "When they start hitting on her, they're too drunk to drive." FML

#20141378
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24504) - you deserved it (1718)

On 10/31/2012 at 7:30am - work - by kat (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

#20119371
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27852) - you deserved it (16781)

On 10/16/2012 at 8:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML

#19072659
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32864) - you deserved it (2498)

On 02/14/2012 at 9:29am - love - by Illinoisgirl - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML

#18593025
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13364) - you deserved it (34593)

On 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I had a science test. A question asked, "What is the first stage of photosynthesis?" I didn't know, so just trying to be light-hearted, I wrote, "The plant must first believe in itself." My teacher didn't think it was funny, and gave me detention for insulting her intelligence. FML

#17804302
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21656) - you deserved it (13917)

On 09/22/2011 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML

#16661318
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32428) - you deserved it (2780)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:56pm - misc - by ugh - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I made the discovery that I'm in a true love triangle; both of my girlfriends are dating one another. FML

#14948891
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12836) - you deserved it (57378)

On 02/12/2011 at 11:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

#13481200
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35930) - you deserved it (7753)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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