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ClosetCelt

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ClosetCelt
  • Town/Country : West Hills, U.S
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 25 April 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 10430
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 41 posted

About ClosetCelt : I live for out-of-character moments.
I'm a mutt.
I like foreign guys.
I have perfect pitch.
I like eyes.

ClosetCelt's last visitors

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ClosetCelt's FML badges

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ClosetCelt's favorite FMLs

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67089) - you deserved it (6317)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend finally got me to orgasm, for the first time in my life, after trying for months. He started laughing when I climaxed. I asked why. Apparently I look like an Down's Syndrome child when I climax. FML

#14830027
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35296) - you deserved it (5906)

On 02/03/2011 at 7:28pm - intimacy - by Embarrassed -

Today, I accidentally drank my sister's science project. Her science project consisted of taking a glass of orange juice and putting maggots in it to see if they would live. I thought it was just pulp. FML

#14820384
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31602) - you deserved it (16932)

On 02/02/2011 at 11:46pm - misc - by Username -

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

#14806356
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38014) - you deserved it (7385)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States

Today, I realized that someone spray painted a giant black cock on the front of my house while I was asleep. I also just recently painted my entire house yellow. Yellow doesn't cover up black penis very well. FML

#14793203
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25596) - you deserved it (3391)

On 02/01/2011 at 1:37am - misc - by Stormbringer -

Today, I found out that the girl who my high school boyfriend cheated on me with is now the woman my husband is having an affair with. FML

#14503708
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53645) - you deserved it (2796)

On 01/08/2011 at 12:22am - misc - by sad (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, at work, my computer started acting up. I told my boss I could fix it, but he told me to call the IT department instead. Neither the IT technician or his supervisor could figure it out, so I showed them what was wrong and how to fix it. I was promptly fired for wasting 2 hours of company time. FML

#14475268
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30864) - you deserved it (3240)

On 01/05/2011 at 3:25pm - work - by worksux (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I lost my virginity, I think. Does it still count if she left halfway through, laughing? FML

#14449491
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44238) - you deserved it (9297)

On 01/03/2011 at 6:40am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, my boyfriend talked me into having drunk sex. Right after we started, my head hit a wall, knocking me out. I woke up to him taking pics of my tits. FML

#14417034
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31070) - you deserved it (10893)

On 01/01/2011 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Samantha - United States (Florida)

Today, the horn in my car decided to malfunction. It honked continuously for an hour as I drove down the highway. FML

#14315930
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22960) - you deserved it (2362)

On 12/23/2010 at 9:21pm - misc - by nick (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I accidentally walked in on my roommate while she was changing clothes. She insisted on telling her boyfriend what had happened, because, "It wouldn't feel right" if she didn't. Her boyfriend is a MMA fighter/bodybuilder and has major jealousy issues. I'm screwed. FML

#14297992
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36174) - you deserved it (3476)

On 12/22/2010 at 12:56pm - misc - by screwed (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got a call about my dog who went missing a week ago. The guy who called said "We have your dog, but you aren't getting her back." Then he hung up. FML

#14294990
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32184) - you deserved it (1856)

On 12/22/2010 at 4:50am - animals - by ks.swan13 -

Today, I walked to school in -5 degree weather, snow up to ankles, for an exam. The school had closed and warned all the parents, but mine didn't tell me, because it was "funnier". FML

#14283967
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33075) - you deserved it (3943)

On 12/21/2010 at 10:21am - misc - by stupid (woman) - Ireland (Meath)

Today, I had to go to the bathroom. I was in a rush, so I went into the boys bathroom. I then had diarrhea. The entire basketball team was waiting for me outside the stall. They did a slow clap for me. FML

#14277581
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28543) - you deserved it (7020)

On 12/20/2010 at 9:31pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was playing hide and seek with a few friends. I hid in the bathroom, under the sink in a cabinet. I ended up having to sit there quiet as a mouse while my grandfather took an incredibly long and vile dump. I was too afraid to move. Let's just say he didn't rush it. FML

#14272041
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29159) - you deserved it (8243)

On 12/20/2010 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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