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About Cjfogler13 : I'm 16 and in high school. Friends showed me this site and I couldn't stop laughing at some of em. So I'm here lol. Joining the United States Marine Corps in 2 years.
AIM: Cjfogler13
Facebook: yes
Myspace: yes
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run at automatic sliding doors, they'll open in time. So I ran at a pair. They don't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10041) - you deserved it (72687)
On 06/19/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by kat9232000 - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64283) - you deserved it (3601)
On 06/15/2009 at 10:13pm - misc - by Shaun (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20777) - you deserved it (34014)
On 06/15/2009 at 7:18pm - intimacy - by kitkat545 (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping in the dog world meant dominance. Well, I decided to instill my dominance and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22251) - you deserved it (97752)
On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger in the car in front of me threw something out the window. The object flew towards and landed directly on my windshield. It was a condom. A used condom. It wasn't tied. Semen spreads out quite a bit when you're driving fast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (94798) - you deserved it (3924)
On 05/03/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by Aether (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was laying in bed naked and blindfolded. I told my boyfriend he could do anything he wanted to me. About 30 minutes later I get out of bed and find him in the computer room play World of Warcraft. His friends needed him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75812) - you deserved it (9736)
On 05/01/2009 at 1:40pm - intimacy - by chelle (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my girlfriend's mother called her in the bedroom for a serious talk. I overheard them arguing and yelling at each other. It turns out her mother found a condom next to her garbage. We got caught because her cat swallowed the condom and threw it up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46548) - you deserved it (13808)
On 05/01/2009 at 10:28am - intimacy - by badluckdrew (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I didn't have any money to buy a tampon from the dispenser at my school but my hands are small enough so I can just slide them up and grab one. My hand got stuck in the dispenser and my school had to call the fire department. Now everyone calls me tampon girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23359) - you deserved it (47661)
On 04/30/2009 at 3:56pm - misc - by obeezy (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my fiance got out of the shower, completely shaved. I went over to her, wrapped her in a hug and asked her what the occasion was. She pulled away and said that she had a gyno appointment. My fiance will clean up for the gyno, but not for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42336) - you deserved it (7203)
On 04/26/2009 at 3:15pm - love - by jimboxo (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I started fixing my hair and unbuttoning a couple of buttons on my shirt, hoping the policeman would let me off with a warning. When he got to the car, he rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath. I saw him walk back to the cop car gagging. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8464) - you deserved it (55698)
On 04/25/2009 at 9:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML
I agree, your life sucks (169562) - you deserved it (20912)
On 04/10/2009 at 5:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was reminded that I used by dad's camera all summer to take naked pictures for boyfriend when my dad sent me an email saying: "FYI: when you delete pictures directly off the camera they get uploaded as trash files when the camera is connected to the computer." He saw them all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15802) - you deserved it (60024)
On 04/09/2009 at 9:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27667) - you deserved it (92120)
On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was playing with my pet hamster and I decided to put it down my pants for fun. It started running around and I actually got aroused. My mom then walked into my room to see me with an erection and my pet hamster poking his head out of the hole in my boxers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29262) - you deserved it (210187)
On 04/08/2009 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by hammylove (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40702) - you deserved it (114327)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)
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