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Chuckduck1's favorite FMLs
by surfer / 07/21/2014 at 1:14pm / United States (New York) / Geek
Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML
by traumatized / 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML
by shittysongs / 03/06/2013 at 9:39pm / United States (Washington) / Work
by Saradee / 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML
by Anonymous / 12/21/2012 at 12:24pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/03/2012 at 1:39pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy
by jon / 08/31/2012 at 5:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Marjorie / 07/13/2012 at 1:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by beccav23 / 10/25/2011 at 12:08pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend bought me a gorgeous ring that I fell in love with. As he slid the ring on my finger for the first time, he started moving it up and down my finger and making loud sex sounds, completely ruining the romantic moment. FML
by Anonymous / 09/27/2011 at 1:30pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by May / 09/04/2011 at 12:08am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I found out my mom has notebooks with lists of everything she has bought for me ever since I was born. Apparently she is going to make me pay her back for all the money she spent on me once I'm an adult. FML
by Anonymous / 06/08/2011 at 12:35am / United States (California) / Money
by ... / 06/06/2011 at 3:44am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML
by thetalkingvagina / 06/09/2010 at 7:34am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and… Today, I took a picture of my boobs and sent it to my boyfriend, only to realize after I hit "send"… Today, I tried waxing for the first time. At first it felt like I'd dipped my balls in a furnace.…