Chubydog

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Offline (the 01/24/2015 at 7:47pm)

Chubydog

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 1310
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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50 favourites

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Chubydog's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend called me in tears, convinced that he found me in a porn video online. It wasn't me. And when I finally got him to give me the web address, I too started crying at the realization of how fat he thinks I am. FML

by confidence taken / 08/23/2014 at 2:26am / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML

by WickedRene / 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was browsing the People of Walmart site, chuckling at all the weirdos on there, when I came across a picture of my mom. FML

by Death By Parent / 07/19/2014 at 6:38pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

by Anonymous / 07/19/2014 at 1:39pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

by LoveGlove / 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, after being a vegetarian for 5 years, I found out that my boyfriend of 2 years has secretly been feeding me meat. His reason is that he thinks it's "funny" that I still call myself a vegetarian afterwards. FML

by secret meat / 06/20/2014 at 10:04pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 10:20am / United States (Nevada) / Animals

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

by mariana / 02/07/2014 at 7:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML

by :( / 01/27/2014 at 5:31pm / Algeria / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my friend I would pay him to ask out the ugliest girl he knew. He asked out my girlfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2014 at 7:33pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

by innocent / 01/06/2014 at 4:32pm / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a great recipe for dinner, and emailed it to myself with the subject "Dinner tonight". Hours later, I'd forgotten all about it, opened my emails, saw the subject line, and thought someone was asking me out to dinner. I got really excited until I saw the sender address. FML

by Mels / 01/06/2014 at 3:57pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I brought up the subject of marriage with my boyfriend. His response was to shoot me with a nerf gun and laugh. FML

by CatLady / 01/06/2014 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I realised after showering that I didn't have a towel, so I thought I would risk a naked dash to my brother's room to steal one of his. He and his friend were in the room and both agreed that I needed a "trim". FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2014 at 1:59pm / South Africa / Intimacy