About Chrysta : I'm only on here when I'm bored as fuck. I'll comment what I think. Don't agree? Too bad cause I don't care. I use proper English out of habit. Want to know more? PM me.
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Chrysta's favorite FMLs
Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML
by heyhijello / 09/09/2013 at 6:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML
by dear god help me. / 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm / United States (Hawaii) / Work
Today, I forgot my key inside my apartment. My boyfriend suggested we ask a neighbor to open it. I explained we don't all have the same key, to which he responded, "Well how come they all have the same doorknobs?" FML
by Anonymous / 08/12/2013 at 7:58pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/21/2013 at 12:15am / United States / Work
Today, I was removing large shrubs from a house. I heard my co-worker yell something, but I couldn't hear him, so I just pulled the stump out anyway. What I realized too late was that he was telling me that there was a swarm of bees living behind the stump. FML
by Anonymous / 07/20/2013 at 5:44pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by roseland / 07/07/2013 at 4:07pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I met my biological father for the first time. He seemed to be slightly intoxicated from the outset, and less than half an hour later, he had tried to intimidate me into "loaning" him several hundred euros for reasons he wouldn't tell me. So long, "dad". FML
by brigitte / 06/27/2013 at 1:35pm / France (Picardie) / Miscellaneous
by CatLover<3 / 06/18/2013 at 7:27pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML
by No money, mo' problems / 06/18/2013 at 6:01pm / United States / Money
Today, my dad came home from a trip to Arizona and brought back special hand-picked gifts for the whole family. When he got to me, he smiled, and pulled out a free lotion from the hotel at which he was staying. FML
by loveyadad / 06/16/2013 at 11:46am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by idontwanttoknow / 06/16/2013 at 7:37am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/16/2013 at 2:37am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML
by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by J. Homen / 03/30/2013 at 6:22pm / United States / Love
- Today, I hooked up with a guy I'm totally in love with. After finishing, he burst into tears about… Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in… Today, I set my alarm half-an-hour earlier so I could masturbate. That's how horny and single I am.…