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Chrispy511

Offline (the 09/12/2014 at 5:30pm) | Search for a member

Chrispy511

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 358
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Chrispy511's page activity

Visits<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 4:31am<b>drdeathnacho</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 6:19pm<b>camiseta</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 11:54pm<b>minauto</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 6:13am<b>billionair11</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 7:32pm<b>seninaa</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 5:10pm<b>maxinator5000</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 1:29am<b>katydid91</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 12:26am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 4:33am<b>J355E</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 11:46am<b>Everyday_Galaxy</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 1:45am<b>adrianramz69</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 11:31pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 3:54pm<b>LivexForever21</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 5:37pm

Chrispy511's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Chrispy511's badges

Chrispy511's favorite FMLs

Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML

#21244565
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39885) - you deserved it (7250)

On 08/24/2014 at 5:50pm - work - by fuck you, tasha (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend sent me a bunch of sexy pics and said to come over to her place. I thought she was in the mood for sex. Nope, she just wanted me to come over and hang a shelf, after which she sent me back home. FML

#21244207
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39187) - you deserved it (5851)

On 08/24/2014 at 1:51am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a job interview, and a guy ahead of me went to enter the building, only to walk face-first into a glass door. I rushed to help him up, and after we had a good laugh about it, I turned to walk inside, only to walk straight into the door as well. FML

#21236025
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41138) - you deserved it (8836)

On 08/12/2014 at 5:23pm - health - by facefuckedguy (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML

#21131587
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48631) - you deserved it (16269)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, it's my first day working the graveyard shift at a local hotel. My new boss thought it would be hilarious to sneak up behind me while dressed like the Grim Reaper. I screamed like a little girl and soaked my pants. Apparently he does this to all the new people. FML

#21130670
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42926) - you deserved it (6133)

On 05/04/2014 at 5:07pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend, who was driving down the highway with the windows down. All of a sudden, everything went black. A cattle truck had sped past, and I had been hit by cow faeces travelling at 110km an hour. My boyfriend was hysterical. None of it hit him. FML

#21127873
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48588) - you deserved it (4418)

On 05/01/2014 at 10:17am - animals - by Felicityfrank (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after an entire year spent in physical therapy recovering from three knee surgeries, I finally returned to doing light agility exercises and running on a treadmill. When I told my therapist I had never been so happy and proud, he responded with, "This usually only takes 5 months, pussy." FML

#21122058
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42284) - you deserved it (7018)

On 04/24/2014 at 7:42pm - health - by AnonymousAndSad (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my 808 area code phone number has yet again been mistaken for a 1-800 number. I've been getting phone calls at three in the morning from people on the east coast who are trying to return their shoes. They want to speak to my supervisor because I "don't sound professional enough." FML

Today, my boyfriend's parents' parrot won't stop imitating my sex moans, and keeps doing it whenever I speak. FML

#21119041
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49806) - you deserved it (13820)

On 04/21/2014 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by sexual parrot -

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51075) - you deserved it (4482)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, my parents made a game out of deliberately walking in when I'm trying to masturbate. They even turn on all the hot water taps when I'm trying to do it in the shower. FML

#21115891
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46985) - you deserved it (18136)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, as I walked out the door to head to class, my neighbour's kid threw a balloon at me, filled with some kind of foul-smelling liquid that he calls "liquid ass". I had a presentation 20 minutes later and couldn't get the smell off myself in time. FML

#21100982
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36406) - you deserved it (2649)

On 03/31/2014 at 1:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Japan (Hyogo)

Today, while working at Dairy Queen, a customer asked me what was so special about our ice cream cakes, and how they're different from regular cakes. I chuckled, and told her it's because they're made from ice cream. She threw a fit, which resulted in me being written up and sent home early. FML

#21096589
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38220) - you deserved it (5692)

On 03/25/2014 at 11:53pm - work - by Coryj1220 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my non-English-speaking grandma bought me a new t-shirt. It would've been sweet if it didn't have the word "bondage" written on the back in pretty, bold letters. I had no choice but to wear it while we went shopping. FML

#21094283
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33771) - you deserved it (3245)

On 03/23/2014 at 12:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - Egypt

Today, my non-English-speaking grandma bought me a new t-shirt. It would've been sweet if it didn't have the word "bondage" written on the back in pretty, bold letters. I had no choice but to wear it while we went shopping. FML

#21094283
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33771) - you deserved it (3245)

On 03/23/2014 at 12:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - Egypt



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