ChrisTheCalm

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ChrisTheCalm

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 April 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1041
  • Number of comments : 129
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About ChrisTheCalm : Oh, hey. Dear whomever this may concern, I hate you and want you out of my life. Stop stalking me. I hate your guts and wish I can kill you. Thanks for reading. For legal reasons, I didn't mean to offend anyone, just people who can fuck themselves that I don't care about. Get out now please jerkface. :)

ChrisTheCalm's page activity

Visits<b>lickmycat42</b> - the 07/01/2016 at 3:09am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 11:45pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 11:05am<b>SlimDanny</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 12:43pm<b>wickedsora</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 2:17am<b>jcroisdale</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 6:35pm<b>Strider207</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 7:55pm<b>Tezoma</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 7:29pm<b>fk18</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 1:25pm<b>xDochx</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 12:33am<b>samslifesuks</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 10:09pm<b>RutnaPapagia</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 4:13pm<b>A7X_all_the_way</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 1:13am<b>mykl1721</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 2:48am<b>Dewoe</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 8:29am<b>Sockturtle</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 4:43pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 9:58am<b>eln</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 6:43am

ChrisTheCalm's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of ChrisTheCalm's badges

ChrisTheCalm's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my husband has been talking to another woman on Facebook. His only defense was "I thought I deleted the messages." FML

by gmac0417 / 09/01/2012 at 2:02am / United States / Love

Today, a small kid looked at me, screamed in terror, and hid behind his dad. I was just walking down the same aisle in the store. This is far from the first time it's happened. FML

by KidKillah / 09/01/2012 at 12:07am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML

by pride? what's that? :( / 08/31/2012 at 8:23pm / Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant) / Intimacy

Today, at college, we had a substitute philosophy teacher, because our professor is on bereavement leave. During his presentation, the sub managed to segue from the early works of Immanuel Kant straight into "the myth of the vaginal orgasm." I'm still shocked and highly confused. FML

by what.....? / 08/31/2012 at 7:40pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was out apartment hunting with my boyfriend. We visited a marvelous place that ticked all the boxes on our requirement checklist, but my boyfriend was unenthused. There was just one small detail that I hadn’t factored in: it's very badly located if ever zombies attack. FML

by TBTC / 08/31/2012 at 3:16am / France (Pays de la Loire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I bought some perfume that I thought smelled absolutely amazing. Later, my boyfriend walked in, sniffed, and said, "What smells like bacon?" The bottle cost $83. They won't take a refund. FML

by baconlady / 08/31/2012 at 3:06am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

by Geckosrock99 / 08/30/2012 at 10:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my dog was diagnosed with depression. I got him to help with my depression. I guess we can just be miserable together. FML

by alix / 08/24/2012 at 11:45am / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Animals

Today, while on the bus, I took out my breath spray. The elderly lady beside me thought it was pepper spray. She panicked and started screaming, which culminated in the man near her punching me in the jaw. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2012 at 12:14pm / United States (West Virginia) / Transportation

Today, I got stumped by a childproof door. Twice. FML

by mr_flarpin / 08/21/2012 at 8:37pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML

by Anonymous / 08/21/2012 at 1:39pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, it finally clicked in my mind how desperately lonely I am, when I shaved one of my legs just to find out what a woman's leg feels like. FML

by lonely. / 08/15/2012 at 12:46pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I went to a new deli in town. While waiting in line, I hadn't made up my mind on what to order, so I let the guy behind me go instead. Turns out he was the hundredth customer, and they gave him his lunch for free. FML

by kirsty / 04/08/2012 at 1:18pm / Canada (Alberta) / Money

Today, I was making breakfast. My microwave door was already open, but I couldn't figure that out so I kept pressing the button. According to Einstein, I'm now insane. FML

by lol / 01/25/2012 at 10:54am / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, my dog started limping as we were walking home. I thought she'd hurt herself, so I picked her up and carried her home. Once we arrived, I put her down, at which point she ran around and played as if nothing had happened. I fell for my lazy dog's plan to get me to carry her home. FML

by vanessa560 / 01/03/2012 at 2:44pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals