About ChrisTheCalm : Oh, hey. Dear whomever this may concern, I hate you and want you out of my life. Stop stalking me. I hate your guts and wish I can kill you. Thanks for reading. For legal reasons, I didn't mean to offend anyone, just people who can fuck themselves that I don't care about. Get out now please jerkface. :)
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
Today, I found out my husband has been talking to another woman on Facebook. His only defense was "I thought I deleted the messages." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18186) - you deserved it (1821)
On 09/01/2012 at 2:02am - love - by gmac0417 - United States
Today, a small kid looked at me, screamed in terror, and hid behind his dad. I was just walking down the same aisle in the store. This is far from the first time it's happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15296) - you deserved it (2153)
On 09/01/2012 at 12:07am - kids - by KidKillah - United States (California)
Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9032) - you deserved it (29054)
On 08/31/2012 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by pride? what's that? :( (woman) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)
Today, at college, we had a substitute philosophy teacher, because our professor is on bereavement leave. During his presentation, the sub managed to segue from the early works of Immanuel Kant straight into "the myth of the vaginal orgasm." I'm still shocked and highly confused. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11671) - you deserved it (1064)
On 08/31/2012 at 7:40pm - misc - by what.....? (woman) - United States
Today, I was out apartment hunting with my boyfriend. We visited a marvelous place that ticked all the boxes on our requirement checklist, but my boyfriend was unenthused. There was just one small detail that I hadn’t factored in: it's very badly located if ever zombies attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15997) - you deserved it (3254) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 08/31/2012 at 3:16am - misc - by TBTC (woman) - France (Pays de la Loire)
Today, I bought some perfume that I thought smelled absolutely amazing. Later, my boyfriend walked in, sniffed, and said, "What smells like bacon?" The bottle cost $83. They won't take a refund. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11015) - you deserved it (5882)
On 08/31/2012 at 3:06am - misc - by baconlady (woman) - United States
Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22894) - you deserved it (4389)
On 08/30/2012 at 10:45pm - intimacy - by Geckosrock99 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my dog was diagnosed with depression. I got him to help with my depression. I guess we can just be miserable together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20940) - you deserved it (1749)
On 08/24/2012 at 11:45am - animals - by alix - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)
Today, while on the bus, I took out my breath spray. The elderly lady beside me thought it was pepper spray. She panicked and started screaming, which culminated in the man near her punching me in the jaw. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16010) - you deserved it (1207)
On 08/23/2012 at 12:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I got into a car wreck that was clearly the other driver's fault. When the police showed up, it turned out that they were old High School friends. The cop let her go without a citation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19016) - you deserved it (847)
On 08/22/2012 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I got stumped by a childproof door. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9773) - you deserved it (4430)
On 08/21/2012 at 8:37pm - misc - by mr_flarpin (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21965) - you deserved it (1519)
On 08/21/2012 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, it finally clicked in my mind how desperately lonely I am, when I shaved one of my legs just to find out what a woman's leg feels like. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17420) - you deserved it (5637)
On 08/15/2012 at 12:46pm - love - by lonely. (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I went to a new deli in town. While waiting in line, I hadn't made up my mind on what to order, so I let the guy behind me go instead. Turns out he was the hundredth customer, and they gave him his lunch for free. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23285) - you deserved it (6212)
On 04/08/2012 at 1:18pm - money - by kirsty - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was making breakfast. My microwave door was already open, but I couldn't figure that out so I kept pressing the button. According to Einstein, I'm now insane. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5733) - you deserved it (17970)
On 01/25/2012 at 10:54am - health - by lol - Canada (Alberta)
Friday 24 May 2013
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