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About ChrisTheCalm : Oh, hey. Dear whomever this may concern, I hate you and want you out of my life. Stop stalking me. I hate your guts and wish I can kill you. Thanks for reading. For legal reasons, I didn't mean to offend anyone, just people who can fuck themselves that I don't care about. Get out now please jerkface. :)
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
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Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
Today, at college, we had a substitute philosophy teacher, because our professor is on bereavement leave. During his presentation, the sub managed to segue from the early works of Immanuel Kant straight into "the myth of the vaginal orgasm." I'm still shocked and highly confused. FML
Today, I was out apartment hunting with my boyfriend. We visited a marvelous place that ticked all the boxes on our requirement checklist, but my boyfriend was unenthused. There was just one small detail that I hadn’t factored in: it's very badly located if ever zombies attack. FML
Today, while on the bus, I took out my breath spray. The elderly lady beside me thought it was pepper spray. She panicked and started screaming, which culminated in the man near her punching me in the jaw. FML
Today, I went to a new deli in town. While waiting in line, I hadn't made up my mind on what to order, so I let the guy behind me go instead. Turns out he was the hundredth customer, and they gave him his lunch for free. FML
Today, my dog started limping as we were walking home. I thought she'd hurt herself, so I picked her up and carried her home. Once we arrived, I put her down, at which point she ran around and played as if nothing had happened. I fell for my lazy dog's plan to get me to carry her home. FML
Friday 28 August 2015