ChrisPavs

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Offline (the 06/24/2016 at 2:42am)

ChrisPavs

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Mendham, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4554
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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ChrisPavs's page activity

Visits<b>iamoffended</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 8:40pm<b>PixieWolfe</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 3:36am<b>Brunofk7</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 12:07am<b>SDamn</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 3:26pm<b>kirstyfunnybunny</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 11:00pm<b>tdubbty</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 6:03pm<b>__Dreamers__</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 2:04pm<b>catchmenow1</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 8:43am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 7:42am<b>andres1419</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 12:09am<b>Galactic_lights</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 8:15pm<b>chuchusheep</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 7:59pm<b>CoopsShea</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 12:43pm<b>hplover32</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 1:46pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 3:57pm<b>windyal0115</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 2:05pm<b>HeadSetMike</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 9:42pm<b>YashiMoshi</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 10:13pm

Fucked!<b>kirstyfunnybunny</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 5:00am<b>tdubbty</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 12:04am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 2:27pm

ChrisPavs's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of ChrisPavs's badges

ChrisPavs's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was working at a sushi restaurant, a guy told me he wanted the table next to the "koi fish tank", because he wanted to let the fish know what happens when they "cross him". FML

by IhadToTakeCareOfTraumatizedFish / 03/03/2016 at 12:32am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I got call from the manager for a company I applied for. Turns out, he mixed up my friend's phone number with mine, since we applied on the same day, so the manager accidentally hired her instead of me. He said the position is still mine if I want it, but they will have to let her go. FML

by speaknoevil1 / 01/29/2016 at 1:03am / United States (Florida) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never heard him say before. Usually this would be exciting, but considering he said, 'I killed the bird', and that one of my two love birds mysteriously died a few days ago, it's safe to say I'm now terrified. FML

by sweetie808 / 01/28/2016 at 3:39am / United States (Hawaii) / Animals

Today, at my daughter's fundraiser, I noticed that a guy with a face only a fist could love kept staring at her. I said "Beautiful, isn't she?" Before I could tell him to keep it in his damned pants, he replied "Hah. She's my girlfriend, dude. Total beast in the sack." Complete news to me on both counts. FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2016 at 11:35am / United States (Kansas) / Kids

Today, I was kayaking with my friend. We figured it'd be awesome if I jumped from my kayak straight into his. Sounded good in theory. One flipped kayak, a pair of lost glasses and a humiliating swim back to shore later, I'm starting to think it wasn't the best idea. FML

by Anonymous / 12/19/2015 at 12:44am / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my coworker was arrested for beating the crap out of his wife. I gave him a serious pep talk yesterday where I told him to stop taking her shit and start standing up for himself. FML

by Anonymous / 11/20/2015 at 2:27pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if you mix beer, an axe, shotgun shells and bad judgment, you get a rather expensive hospital stay. FML

Today, at work, my coworker's belongings went missing. Infuriated, she accused me of stealing, because I'm black and "stereotypes don't just make themselves." FML

by Quicky5_ / 11/03/2015 at 1:58am / United States (Alabama) / Work

Today, it's job interview day. In the elevator on the way there, I overheard potential candidates talking about the boss of the company, mocking his alleged lack of credibility. Who's the boss? Me. They don't know that yet. FML

by Oli974 / 10/22/2015 at 9:08am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Work

Today, my son told me that he doesn't need to go to school because he doesn't need a job. It turns out he plans to get a life sentence in prison and live the rest of his life at the taxpayers' expense. FML

by Anonymous / 10/11/2015 at 12:20am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, while babysitting my nephew, I was looking through a bin of toys, and I saw a fake spider. I picked it up to do a prank with. It wasn't fake. FML

by Scarred4Life / 10/10/2015 at 11:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I brutally stabbed a guy to death for smiling at me, then puked and fainted. Then I woke up in bed, panicking, sweating like a pig and crying because I thought my dream was real and I was going to go to prison. I'm never taking sleeping medication again. FML

by Anonymous / 09/25/2015 at 4:14pm / Germany / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I lost our virginity to one another. He then did a naked victory lap around his dad's house, blasting Akon's "I Just Had Sex" at full volume. He's legally an adult. FML

by Anonymous / 09/24/2015 at 1:07pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML

by meunluckycharms / 09/14/2015 at 3:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I dropped my toothbrush. Because I have the spatial awareness of a mentally-retarded gnat, I hit my head against the sink as I bent down to get it. Then I did the same on the way back up, almost KO'ing myself. My boyfriend saw the whole thing and nearly pissed himself laughing. FML

by dammit / 09/12/2015 at 4:11am / Australia (Queensland) / Health