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ChrisDesmorais

Offline (the 11/30/2014 at 7:39am) | Search for a member

ChrisDesmorais

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 September 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3329
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>Fawn_Delmee</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 3:55am<b>aleximo</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 1:56pm<b>MilkshakeSwagger</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 8:47pm<b>xThatOneWeirdGuy</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 6:56pm<b>DoubleDie7</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 2:17pm<b>khaoticpanda</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 12:36am<b>ApexReaper</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 12:43pm<b>abreu1556</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 12:29am<b>shaar</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 9:51am<b>germy21</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 12:47pm

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ChrisDesmorais's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML

#21227114
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43395) - you deserved it (7040)

On 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by WickedRene (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML

#21226906
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33916) - you deserved it (22562)

On 08/01/2014 at 4:45pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to explain to my father why it isn't a good idea to shove a metal knife into the toaster when trying to get at a small piece of toast. This man is 45-years-old and has a PhD. FML

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

#21200680
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53020) - you deserved it (8001)

On 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by oh shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was trying on bikinis at a local store. When I put my pants back on, my foot got stuck, I tripped and fell through the curtain of the fitting room, topless. FML

#21176636
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56166) - you deserved it (8033)

On 06/16/2014 at 11:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Germany

Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML

#21155508
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59144) - you deserved it (4566)

On 05/29/2014 at 2:46am - animals - by Idk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at a buffet with my kids and husband. As my boys got up to get more food, I told them they'd better come back with something green on their plate. They both came back with mint ice cream and got a high-five from my husband. FML

#21154562
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47578) - you deserved it (28466)

On 05/28/2014 at 12:28pm - kids - by outsmartedbykids (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52100) - you deserved it (4710)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend to our local park, and I playfully climbed into one of the baby swings. I planned on having him push me, not getting stuck and having to be cut free from the seat while he laughed. FML

#21108537
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23414) - you deserved it (37795)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:50pm - love - by BabyButt - United States (Hawaii)

Today, it was my first ever live piano performance. It went all great until the end, when I stood up, slipped, and smashed face-first into the keys. I've lost half a tooth and all my dignity. FML

#21100221
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42937) - you deserved it (3435)

On 03/30/2014 at 2:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She'd walked in on me jerking off, which she said is exactly the same as cheating on her. FML

#21082250
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49797) - you deserved it (8933)

On 03/09/2014 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by fuck russia and fuck georgia too (man) - Azerbaijan

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Devastated, I told my dad about it, hoping he'd help cheer me up. His advice was, "Just rub one out son, you'll feel better in no time." Thanks dad. FML

#21070515
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43967) - you deserved it (6215)

On 02/24/2014 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Author (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was on a date, when I suddenly choked on my own saliva and coughed so hard that I passed out. FML



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