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  • Town/Country : Schofield, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 November 1986 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2479
  • Number of comments : 78
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Chris20003's page activity

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Chris20003's FML badges

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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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Chris20003's favorite FMLs

Today, I got stuck driving behind a rather large motorcyclist on a one way road for 30 miles. For those 30 miles, I had a full view of his back fat rolls and butt crack. FML

by O__o / 12/09/2011 at 1:43am / United States / Transportation

Today, I went out in a storm to collect my wheelie bin, which had flown down the street. On the way back to my house, I realised my door had slammed shut and locked behind me. That's okay though, a trampoline decided to smash my window and let me in. FML

by mattdevil / 12/08/2011 at 1:57pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

by pops up / 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I met my girlfriend's family. Her mother wants us to stay in separate bedrooms, and I was happy to oblige since I'm staying at their house. But because there isn't an extra room, we have to stay together. Upon entering the house, her mom searched our bags for condoms and birth-control pills. FML

by vistingherfamily / 11/24/2011 at 9:09pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

by dumbassbuffet / 11/11/2011 at 10:53am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2011 at 7:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

by Mini-wanker / 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I bought my daughter a bunk bed. After spending several hours building it, she climbed up, then fainted. Turns out she's afraid of heights. FML

by bunkbed / 08/30/2011 at 12:45pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I got into an argument with a militantly feminist co-worker of mine. She threw several vulgar insults at me and debased the entire male gender before storming off. I'd only asked if she needed help while she was doing a crossword. FML

by Rick / 07/28/2011 at 6:51am / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, I got a call from a man yelling and cursing at me, calling me a "selfish no-life asshole" for getting his "baby girl" pregnant. I'm 29 and she is 27 and we have been married for 3 years. FML

by Harry / 07/20/2011 at 3:40am / United States / Kids

Today, I found out my boyfriend has checked every girl he has ever slept with for 'vagina teeth'. I'm apparently no exception. FML

by knolan / 07/20/2011 at 12:40am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

by Anonymous / 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous