Chris20003

Search for a member

Offline (the 09/12/2016 at 7:49pm)

Chris20003

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Schofield, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 November 1986 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2385
  • Number of comments : 78
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

Chris20003's page activity

Visits<b>Kotlopou</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 2:34am<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 6:12pm<b>SmilieAKD</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 1:07am<b>mollyjynxjax</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 2:28am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 2:39pm<b>SillyGirl4602</b> - the 02/01/2013 at 2:58am<b>SerendipityRose</b> - the 01/11/2013 at 4:05am

Chris20003's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Chris20003's badges

Chris20003's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter brought her new boyfriend over for dinner. I realize now why she said we would get along great: we graduated high school together. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2012 at 8:10pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, my mum read a forwarded email, and is now convinced that eating processed food will make my ovaries shrink and disappear. Now she goes batshit crazy if she sees me eating potato chips. FML

by sohungry / 01/02/2012 at 7:18am / India (Maharashtra) / Health

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2012 at 2:34am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML

by nickthetank / 12/31/2011 at 4:21am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend decided to raid my games collection and try her hand at Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Two hours later, despite my best attempts to make her stop shrieking like a dying crackhead every two minutes, two cops showed up at the door with our neighbors in tow. FML

by axel519 / 12/30/2011 at 9:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to slight memory of my boyfriend leaving for work an hour earlier than originally planned due to "excessive sweat" in my bed. When I removed my sheets and took in a deep whiff, my olfactory receptors instantly knew that his so called "sweat" was actually his urine. FML

by dontpeeonmenxtime / 12/29/2011 at 9:51am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving home from work when I saw the woman in the car in front of me throw something out the window. Only when it landed on my windshield did I realize what it was. A bloody tampon. FML

by anonymous / 12/27/2011 at 5:32pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML

by blegh / 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML

by ericane27 / 12/27/2011 at 2:53pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into my elderly grandmother's trailer, used the bathroom and went to wash my hands. She had a soft spot in the floor that she covered with a bathmat. I fell through. Right leg up to my hip in the floor, boobs stuck on the counter. My husband and grandmother stood there laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2011 at 12:13pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 10-year-old brother got the bright idea to urinate in my oven to cool it off. My whole house smells like burnt piss. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2011 at 10:53am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML

by ikungfuyou / 12/27/2011 at 2:11am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML

by maddie / 12/27/2011 at 12:26am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, is Christmas day. Normally, I'd spend it with family. However, my boss decided everyone has to work today, despite the fact that there's enough people who want to work to run the place. Apparently it's "fairer" if we all have to do it - except him. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2011 at 1:25am / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Work

Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML

by Cookie / 12/22/2011 at 1:11pm / South Africa / Miscellaneous