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Chris20003

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Chris20003
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 November 1986 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 501
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

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Chris20003's favorite FMLs

Today, I paid for someone else's pee so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML

#19520767
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7259) - you deserved it (58184)

On 04/24/2012 at 4:29am - work - by xharmonyx - United States

Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML

#19520416
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41901) - you deserved it (3001)

On 04/24/2012 at 1:42am - animals - by jessica071509 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I yet again heard a friend say "YOLO" as if it's a word. It was so annoying that I had to restrain myself from punching him in the face and offering him the chance to suck on one of my turds, since apparently "YOLO." FML

#19520181
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16774) - you deserved it (4547)

On 04/24/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML

#19514689
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24693) - you deserved it (3903)

On 04/23/2012 at 12:04am - love - by gottalovefriends - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I tried to convince my daughter that the "To boldly go where no man has gone before" speech is from Star Trek, and is not an actual historical speech by the first man on the moon. She has decided to include it in her university essay on Neil Armstrong anyway. FML

Today, while outside, a bug flew up my nose. After I told my family and friends about a faint vibrating in my upper nostril, they all convinced me I was paranoid. That was until that night when I blew my nose and there was the bug in my tissue. Its leg was still twitching. FML

#19446242
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21150) - you deserved it (1476)

On 04/10/2012 at 10:19pm - health - by baugy (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML

#19443097
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33016) - you deserved it (2518)

On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I dropped off my 19 year old daughter at her first job. It's at a strip club. FML

#19357429
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24865) - you deserved it (20387)

On 03/27/2012 at 1:51pm - kids - by azmom - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

#19343662
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36621) - you deserved it (11379)

On 03/25/2012 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to explain to my friend that the world did not used to be black and white. It was just the pictures that were. She still doesn't believe me. She's eighteen. FML

#19276451
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21375) - you deserved it (1919)

On 03/14/2012 at 7:31am - misc - by CierraJordan - United States (Utah)

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

#19064063
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29545) - you deserved it (5824)

On 02/13/2012 at 8:37am - intimacy - by lotrgeek (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sitting on a bus. I'm deaf. An old lady looked very angry at me and started talking. Then she looked like she was screaming. I had to type on my phone that I'm deaf. Apparently, I'd been stepping on her foot. She decided to poke me in the eye and type, "Now you're blind too." FML

#18936748
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33734) - you deserved it (2567)

On 01/28/2012 at 7:46pm - misc - by Come on - United States

Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML

#18891781
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39059) - you deserved it (3206)

On 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by jjs51 (man) - United States

Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML

#18814667
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24136) - you deserved it (3118) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/15/2012 at 1:14pm - love - by Vitriol (man) - France

Today, my daughter brought her new boyfriend over for dinner. I realize now why she said we would get along great: we graduated high school together. FML

#18689614
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41335) - you deserved it (2995)

On 01/02/2012 at 8:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)



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