Chris20003

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Offline (the 07/20/2016 at 8:33pm)

Chris20003

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Schofield, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 November 1986 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2248
  • Number of comments : 78
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Chris20003's page activity

Visits<b>Kotlopou</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 2:34am<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 6:12pm<b>SmilieAKD</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 1:07am<b>mollyjynxjax</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 2:28am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 2:39pm<b>SillyGirl4602</b> - the 02/01/2013 at 2:58am<b>SerendipityRose</b> - the 01/11/2013 at 4:05am

Chris20003's FML badges

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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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Chris20003's favorite FMLs

Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML

by anonymous4991 / 05/03/2012 at 8:39pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while I was sneaking a boy out of my room at 2am, I ran into my mom sneaking a man into her room. FML

by dentistrygirl / 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, it was the concert of my life. I had bought tickets the minute they went on sale, and I'd anxiously waited until the concert date. 30 minutes before the show, my friend got so drunk that we weren't allowed in, and I was stuck babysitting her all night in the hotel, completely missing the show. FML

by savanna / 05/03/2012 at 12:46am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents left on a trip. I wanted to invite my girlfriend over for a few days so we could spend them together. Then my grandparents turn up, "just for a few days, until your parents return, so you won't be alone in this big house." FML

by homealone / 05/03/2012 at 12:39am / Canada / Love

Today, a repairman came to fix my couch, which is under warranty because the frame had broken in multiple places. To ensure I got a new couch out of the deal, I stabbed multiple holes into the cushion. The guy fixed the frame, but said there was nothing he could do about lacerations on the sofa. FML

by grovage / 05/02/2012 at 8:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was to have an important phone interview for a job. I got a call and everything went perfectly, and they said I was hired. Later, I found out that one of my "friends" had gotten one of his buddies to prank call me and make sure the line was engaged when the real interviewer called. FML

by panther of the desert / 05/02/2012 at 5:58pm / Puerto Rico / Work

Today, I went on a picnic with my boyfriend's family. I thought it would be nice to wear my sundress and cowgirl boots. The wind repeatedly picked up my dress in front of everyone, including my boyfriend's seedy grandpa, who I have to admit can do a pretty good wolf-whistle. FML

by EyeSeeYou / 05/02/2012 at 2:34pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

by Flip / 05/02/2012 at 1:06am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love

Today, I was in a gas station bathroom attempting to buy a condom from the machine on the wall. A woman who smelled of cat piss walked in, and I got embarrassed so I fled into a stall. She then started a conversation with me about "the good old days" from the next stall over. FML

by Megannn / 05/01/2012 at 7:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the supermarket when I saw an elderly lady slip on a wet patch of floor. I ran over to help, and I almost fell too before steadying myself. Then some pimply cockmunch of a teen decided to kick my legs out from under me and walk away while laughing his balls off. FML

by karmafails / 05/01/2012 at 12:17pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Health

Today, my boyfriend yet again unsuccessfully tried to hold in uncontrollable giggling every time I moaned or sighed during sex. He's 24. I'm terrified of his reaction should I ever reach an orgasm with him. FML

by epicsquishii / 05/01/2012 at 7:02am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML

by Anonymous / 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend figured out that he can bounce small things off of my boobs, and has been doing it every time I look away. FML

by Elise / 04/28/2012 at 7:36pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML

by yosenfal / 04/27/2012 at 9:04pm / United Kingdom (Plymouth) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that I've been calling my boyfriend's dad by the wrong name for the past two years. No one had told me sooner because they liked laughing at me for it when I wasn't around. FML

by somefamily / 04/26/2012 at 3:11am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous