Chris20003

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Offline (the 07/27/2016 at 5:17am)

Chris20003

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Schofield, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 November 1986 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2272
  • Number of comments : 78
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Chris20003's page activity

Visits<b>Kotlopou</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 2:34am<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 6:12pm<b>SmilieAKD</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 1:07am<b>mollyjynxjax</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 2:28am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 2:39pm<b>SillyGirl4602</b> - the 02/01/2013 at 2:58am<b>SerendipityRose</b> - the 01/11/2013 at 4:05am

Chris20003's FML badges

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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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Chris20003's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML

by TLJ321 / 05/18/2012 at 3:41am / Health

Today, I wanted to prank my roommate. So, I thought it would be funny to take all the toilet paper out of our bathroom. She thought it would be funny to wipe with my cashmere sweater. FML

by Karmaisabitch / 05/18/2012 at 2:07am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started my job as one of those sign spinners. About an hour later, some people drove up, yelled, "Bitch, get off my corner," and threw water balloons at me. My boss made me keep working in the soaking wet outfit. FML

by poseidon5213 / 05/17/2012 at 6:02pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I finally gained the nerve to ask out the girl of my dreams. She responded by saying, "You need to lower your standards." FML

by colts609380 / 05/17/2012 at 5:07pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2012 at 4:14pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was reading a book on paper for the first time in maybe a month. I had to stop at a word I did not recognise. Because I'm so used to using a Kindle, I tried to get the definition by pressing it. I had my finger on the word for a few seconds before I realised it was paper. FML

by Bilze / 05/17/2012 at 2:57pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML

by Anonymous / 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad found a couple of coins on the floor next to my desk, and gave me a lecture about how money doesn't grow on trees and how irresponsible I am when it comes to money. They were Chuck E. Cheese tokens. FML

by rofindie / 05/07/2012 at 12:12am / United States (New York) / Money

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She promptly had a panic attack and screamed, "No!" FML

by gutted / 05/06/2012 at 10:13pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, I had to convince my 28-year-old boyfriend to take down his booger wall. FML

by fock / 05/06/2012 at 10:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I confronted my girlfriend about cheating on me. Her response was that it's not cheating since she is getting paid. FML

by madseason / 05/06/2012 at 8:13pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I noticed my nephew has blue eyes, freckles and dimples which don't run in my family or my sister's husband's family, but they do run in my husband's family. FML

by Damn / 05/06/2012 at 9:53am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, while at the store, I realized how socially inept I am when I said "excuse me" to a shopping cart because it was in my way. FML

Today, the school nurse called me in. She said she knew I was pregnant and she was worried about how it was affecting my grades. I'm not pregnant. Apparently I'm just stupid and fat. FML

by CharlieOrion / 05/04/2012 at 8:25am / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML

by viviham / 05/04/2012 at 8:08am / United States (Texas) / Work