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Chokker

Offline (the 11/24/2014 at 7:07pm) | Search for a member

Chokker

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 16 October 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 459
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Chokker : I'm batman!

Chokker's page activity

Visits<b>phoenixqueen</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 4:37am<b>livilaughs</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 11:18am

Chokker's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

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Chokker's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55154) - you deserved it (64262)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while doing a fun genetics game in Biology, I found out that I was adopted. Turns out the game wasn't so fun. FML

#20661511
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54335) - you deserved it (3037)

On 05/13/2013 at 7:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60548) - you deserved it (9147)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend confided in me that she wanted to try bondage. Since I trust her, I said sure. After I was tied to the bed, she tickled me until I pissed myself. FML

#20553692
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49162) - you deserved it (11641)

On 03/21/2013 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by ldn (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, my wife mentioned that she wanted to give me a three-way. I was ecstatic, until she opened her right hand, only to reveal a 3-way lightbulb. FML

#20512105
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16301) - you deserved it (38515)

On 02/18/2013 at 12:23pm - intimacy - by phatdaddy62 (man) - United States

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML

Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML

#20184714
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26904) - you deserved it (2927)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by childhoodupinsmoke (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25469) - you deserved it (6589)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14819) - you deserved it (38516)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11242) - you deserved it (37807)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, I was in a business meeting. I was giving a Powerpoint presentation to my boss and a few other associates. Then a notification popped up in the middle of my presentation reminding me that I needed to renew my pornhub subscription. FML

#19754220
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12746) - you deserved it (43100)

On 06/08/2012 at 7:58am - work - by WaffleMan (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML

#19743887
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13888) - you deserved it (37192)

On 06/06/2012 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by Rob (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML

#19710160
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10172) - you deserved it (29668)

On 05/31/2012 at 3:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I had a dream I was on the toilet taking the longest piss known to man. Unfortunately, it was partially true. FML

Today, I was debating if I actually do talk to myself. I was having this conversation with myself. FML

#19236548
96 comments


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