ChloeMeyers

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Offline (the 09/01/2014 at 7:23am)

ChloeMeyers

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 April 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 805
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ChloeMeyers : I'm a pretty down to earth gal. I love sports (baseball and football are my absolute favorite). I love, love, love the outdoors. The sunshine is my whiskey. I get lost in music, you can catch me dancing. I'm a firm believer in Christ. I adore people in general and am always up for a good time!

So um, thanks for reading this. My inbox is always open

ChloeMeyers's page activity

Visits<b>WhiteCrimson</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 9:25am<b>ApologyKick</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 10:24pm<b>Valdrek</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 12:57pm<b>tuyet424</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 12:25pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 2:26pm<b>katherhinooo</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 5:12pm<b>RicoDay</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 5:47am<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 3:39am<b>kyranstar</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 6:19pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 9:30am<b>db32</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 1:41am

Fucked!<b>WhiteCrimson</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 3:25pm

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ChloeMeyers's favorite FMLs

Today, my blind date turned out to be my gynecologist. FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2014 at 10:00pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my elderly mother explained that, "I don't need my glasses to drive, I just need them to see." FML

by scared / 08/03/2014 at 8:47pm / Canada / Transportation

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

by Anonymous / 08/03/2014 at 1:16am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, while wandering around the big city I just relocated to, I asked a seemingly pleasant-looking lady where the nearest library was. She told me to get lost, and started laughing. Then said she was just joking and gave me directions. I'm now standing in front of a gay strip joint. FML

by lostintdot / 07/31/2014 at 7:38am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved him for the first time. The L-word is probably one of the only things I'm scared to say, so what did he do? He stared at me blankly before making a farting noise with his mouth and asking if he could go get Chicken Express for dinner. FML

by Humiliated & Heart-Broken / 07/30/2014 at 12:41am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I went to a bar with my best friend, and some guys came up to us and started flirting with her and offering her a drink. I felt a bit left out and started joking that "I'm thirsty too". One guy looked at me, cringed and said, "No, I don't buy drinks for weird girls." FML

by notgoth / 07/27/2014 at 6:17pm / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Love

Today, the guy I've been seeing for a year and a half ended it. Why? He found another girl. "She's just like you." FML

by anonymous / 07/19/2014 at 12:43am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML

by Anonymous / 06/14/2014 at 2:42am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Kids

Today, less than a day after my cranky downstairs neighbor passed away, I woke up to banging sounds against his apartment ceiling, like the ones he used to make whenever I walked around during the night. I'm shitting myself in fear. FML

by mdsfkljsfsdrewr / 06/03/2014 at 3:01pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2014 at 12:03am / United States (Idaho) / Animals

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time, after he repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me. He passed out halfway through. FML

by JoshuasGirl / 12/23/2013 at 2:13pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I pulled over a speeding driver. I admit that I'd been hoping for this moment since I joined the police force; the moment a lady put her cleavage on display to get out of a ticket. Sadly, this lady was a senior citizen, and her breasts looked like two semi-deflated balloons. FML

by fuck my eyeballs / 12/01/2013 at 6:07pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML

by I don't know, son / 11/15/2013 at 8:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids