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ChloeMeyers

Offline (the 05/30/2014 at 9:22pm) | Search for a member

ChloeMeyers

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 April 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 44
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ChloeMeyers : I'm a pretty down to earth gal. I love sports (baseball and football are my absolute favorite). I love, love, love the outdoors. The sunshine is my whiskey. I get lost in music, you can catch me dancing. I'm a firm believer in Christ. I adore people in general and am always up for a good time!

So um, thanks for reading this. My inbox is always open

ChloeMeyers's page activity

Visits<b>ncbeach22</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 10:56am<b>RicoDay</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 5:47am<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 3:39am<b>kyranstar</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 6:19pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 9:30am<b>WhiteCrimson</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 6:23am<b>db32</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 1:41am

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ChloeMeyers's favorite FMLs

Today, the guy I've been seeing for a year and a half ended it. Why? He found another girl. "She's just like you." FML

#21213656
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46358) - you deserved it (3471)

On 07/19/2014 at 12:43am - love - by anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51875) - you deserved it (4562)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML

#21174074
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43510) - you deserved it (6269)

On 06/14/2014 at 2:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, less than a day after my cranky downstairs neighbor passed away, I woke up to banging sounds against his apartment ceiling, like the ones he used to make whenever I walked around during the night. I'm shitting myself in fear. FML

#21161740
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44506) - you deserved it (4190)

On 06/03/2014 at 3:01pm - misc - by mdsfkljsfsdrewr (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

#21133762
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37440) - you deserved it (19871)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50381) - you deserved it (4429)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time, after he repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me. He passed out halfway through. FML

#21002524
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47274) - you deserved it (5724)

On 12/23/2013 at 2:13pm - intimacy - by JoshuasGirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I pulled over a speeding driver. I admit that I'd been hoping for this moment since I joined the police force; the moment a lady put her cleavage on display to get out of a ticket. Sadly, this lady was a senior citizen, and her breasts looked like two semi-deflated balloons. FML

#20977282
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44090) - you deserved it (19775)

On 12/01/2013 at 6:07pm - work - by fuck my eyeballs (man) - United States (California)

Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

#20640901
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49601) - you deserved it (7019)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, at work, I walked in on a disoriented elderly woman eating nachos and cheese off the bathroom floor. She wasn't wearing any pants. FML

#20548521
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32465) - you deserved it (2752)

On 03/17/2013 at 11:14pm - work - by Ihatemyjob (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML

#20464395
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30085) - you deserved it (14485)

On 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was visiting my daughter, whose husband was still asleep at noon. I made a point of stomping around on the hardwood floor and speaking loudly to wake his lazy ass up. Turns out he's now working a 14-hour graveyard shift, and it has no negative effect on his shoe-throwing skills. FML

#20193830
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5083) - you deserved it (73442)

On 12/06/2012 at 2:23pm - misc - by mom (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, due to a health insurance mix up, my schizophrenic girlfriend has been off her meds for a little over a week. She's convinced I can read her mind, and if I don't stop "pretending" she'll slit my throat in my sleep. Her medication won't be available for at least another two weeks. FML

#20159457
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23573) - you deserved it (2227)

On 11/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

#19983789
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26869) - you deserved it (2080)

On 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm - work - by justlittleoldme - United States (Wisconsin)



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