About ChloeChan96 : Obviously a seventeen year old female with a fancy for Hello Kitty and FMyLife. I go on FML to get a kick out of other peoples misfortune when my day sucks ass, but honestly, who doesn't? Aside from being a busy body teenager with regular First World Problems, I can't say there is anything too spectacular about me.
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ChloeChan96's favorite FMLs
Today, I was having an affair with a girl from my work. She scratched my back while we were doing it and I didn't want my wife to find out so I threw myself down the stairs at work and ended up having to go to the hospital. FML
by Chichensoup / 05/20/2010 at 10:33pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
Today, I lectured my second-grade class to be more descriptive in their writing. I gave them an assignment to describe something in the classroom. I was grading their work later, and one student wrote, "My class is taught by a fat teacher with gray hair." FML
by Teaching26 / 05/15/2010 at 3:47am / United States (Virginia) / Kids
Today, I went to get my first tattoo. When I told the man that I wanted Tinkerbell on my lower back area. He snorted and told me that I was way too old to have Tinkerbell on me, and that Disney characters are only cute on people 35 and younger. I'm 23. FML
by Anonymous / 03/11/2010 at 10:46pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
by paidback / 12/24/2009 at 8:10pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend's mother called me. She assumed that I bought him a PS3 for Christmas, and she and the rest of his family have only purchased him games to go with it. The thing is, I already got him an expensive gift. Now, I have to scramble to come up with the money to get this for him instead, and save the coat I bought for his birthday. FML
by countrygirl0118 / 12/17/2009 at 5:30pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/09/2009 at 10:59pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by sickkid / 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I went to go see my boyfriend of over two years in a play. I knew that he'd be kissing his female opposite at the end of the show and I was okay with that. I snuck into his dressing room at intermission to find him "rehearsing" with her half naked. FML
Today, at work we were gathered to be told some bad news. One of our colleagues would be taking indefinite leave because his wife had dropped their newborn baby. I accidentally laughed at the image. FML
by R / 10/28/2009 at 6:29pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Work
Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML
by dinosaurman / 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/01/2009 at 10:06am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, while having sex I realized two things. First, I can't remember the last time my boyfriend gave me an orgasm, and secondly I think the curtains slightly clash with the duvet cover. I was more annoyed with the second one. FML
by vicgal / 08/14/2009 at 2:33pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by wetboy / 07/05/2009 at 6:07am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was getting a pedicure and the woman sitting next to me asked the lady if she could take the skin she had scraped off my feet home to her birds because they love skin. She then describes for 20 minutes how her birds love to sit on her when her sunburn is peeling and eat her skin. FML
by Anonymous / 06/25/2009 at 4:34am / United States (Maryland) / Health
Today, I had a date with this really cute guy. He invited me over to make dinner at his place. Eventually we end up in his bedroom to have sex. He pulls down my panties and says, "You need to shave that shit." FML
by lagirl / 06/09/2009 at 1:27am / United States (California) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…