ChloeChan96

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Offline (the 06/12/2016 at 8:31pm)

ChloeChan96

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2115
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About ChloeChan96 : Obviously a seventeen year old female with a fancy for Hello Kitty and FMyLife. I go on FML to get a kick out of other peoples misfortune when my day sucks ass, but honestly, who doesn't? Aside from being a busy body teenager with regular First World Problems, I can't say there is anything too spectacular about me.

ChloeChan96's page activity

Visits<b>Ixiion</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 1:15pm

ChloeChan96's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of ChloeChan96's badges

ChloeChan96's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a creepy old guy with awful body odor in my salon. As I was washing his hair, he brought up how he wants to start a garden, and how a woman's monthly flow weirdly helps to make it grow. Then he asked me if I can save up my used tampons for him. FML

by fashionista1787 / 09/11/2011 at 11:23pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Work

Today, I decided to prank my boyfriend by putting a pair of panties in his coat pocket. I stormed in and confronted him with the "evidence". I guess the prank worked; he broke down and confessed to cheating on me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/12/2011 at 7:15pm / France / Love

Today, I was about to make love to my girlfriend at the local park when a cop caught us. I had to give him our information and hold a conversation with "Fire and Ice" lubricant on my penis. FML

by Khrixas_069 / 06/18/2011 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter called for me to come into the bathroom. Turns out the tummy ache she'd been complaining of was actually parasites in her digestive tract. I could swear they were looking at me from the toilet. FML

by mrsekko / 05/31/2011 at 8:44am / United States / Health

Today, while letting horses out to switch pasture, one ran at me, sending me through the electric fence and into a mud puddle. Wrapped in electric fence, I sat in that electric mud puddle, screaming every time it shocked me. Help arrived, once they'd had a good long laugh. FML

by electricpuddle / 04/24/2011 at 9:11pm / Animals

Today, my family came back from holiday to discover that my little sister had messed with the cat flap before we left. Several stray cats were able to come in, but were unable to get out, and left shit in various areas around the house. FML

by cathouse / 03/26/2011 at 3:27pm / United Kingdom (North Down) / Animals

Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML

by Anonymous / 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, a man dressed as Santa Claus walked by me, grabbing my butt. He smelled of pipe tobacco and pee. He pulled me close to him and whispered, "I bet you're naughty but you feel so nice." I looked dumbfounded at him as he winked and yelled, "You're on my list." FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2010 at 12:09am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I had to make up a boyfriend to stop my lesbian roommate coming onto me. FML

by katelouise2102 / 11/29/2010 at 7:39am / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Intimacy

Today, my crush walked me home. As my mom opens the door, she tells me in Russian how ugly he is, and that I have extremely bad taste. Out of all the languages in the world, he happens to be fluent in Russian. FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 10:45am / Brunei Darussalam / Love

Today, I nervously introduced my mother to my new boyfriend. I had to sit and watch her flirt with him for an hour. When I took her in the other room and confronted her about it, she said, "Don't you dare ruin this for me!" FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2010 at 10:09pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got the haircut I've been wanting for ages. I then called my girlfriend of two years and asked what she would do if I got a haircut. She told me she would dump me and then invited me to her house for dinner. I'm scared to go. FML

by Fmylife.25 / 09/03/2010 at 3:56pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I went with my family to go see a notoriously creepy abandoned house. We noticed the people had left a lot of stuff behind so we loaded up the car with books, records, etc. As we were leaving, we saw the family who lived there drive up. I robbed a house with my grandma. FML

by tikizombie / 08/30/2010 at 8:04pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to listen to this voicemail. I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty followed by the bed springs bouncing for 3 minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML

by JDLAX1924 / 08/05/2010 at 7:24pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend showed me how he gives himself a semi-erection before he goes into the men's showers after training so his penis will look bigger in front of all the guys. I find it worrying that he won't have sex with me, but has no problem walking around in front of men naked with a semi. FML

by 4fucksake / 07/18/2010 at 7:26pm / Ireland (Sligo) / Intimacy