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Chimera0

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Chimera0
  • Town/Country : An Island?, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 30 May 1998 (15 years)
  • Number of visits : 120
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Chimera0's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting in the coffee shop where my boyfriend and I used to go before he broke up with me about a week ago. I was missing him and wishing he was there, when all of a sudden this 14-year-old kid comes up to me and says, "He's not coming, you may as well go home." FML

#21097979
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39715) - you deserved it (5417)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:03pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54133) - you deserved it (5405)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was babysitting my barely-pubescent cousins, and they started talking about giving blowjobs to their "boyfriends". When I got mad at them and told them they shouldn't be thinking of that stuff, they said I was just pissed 'cause I haven't gotten laid. FML

#20984257
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46094) - you deserved it (3926)

On 12/07/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by bella - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was working out, I was listening to music with my earbuds in. The Pokémon theme started playing and I begun singing along. It wasn't too long after that I remembered I was in a crowded gym on a military base. FML

#20940589
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34838) - you deserved it (9498)

On 10/31/2013 at 7:18pm - misc - by GymBattle (man) - United States

Today, my dog had an upset stomach and diarrhea. To avoid a mess on the carpet, I confined her to a gated area in the kitchen with sheets over the floor, so any mess could be cleaned up easily. Instead of going on the sheets, she sprayed shit all up the walls. FML

#20933932
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41574) - you deserved it (6303)

On 10/25/2013 at 9:50pm - animals - by kiwibox - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend taking a dump in the litter box. He said he wanted to know what it felt like for the cat. FML

#20930986
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43240) - you deserved it (5198)

On 10/23/2013 at 12:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was playing soccer when a player kicked the ball at my crotch. In pain, I kneeled down. The referee came up to me and whispered, "The smaller they are, the more it hurts." FML

#20911508
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40104) - you deserved it (3457)

On 10/07/2013 at 8:21pm - misc - by Agax (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom bitched me out for not driving my little brother to school this morning. The reason I didn't is that some assfuck decided to slash my tires overnight. She was well aware of this fact. FML

#20859259
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40606) - you deserved it (2239)

On 08/29/2013 at 1:37pm - misc - by hope they slash you next, mom - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at the park playing Frisbee with my friends, when I saw a boy sitting on a bench looking rather sad. "Hey!" I yelled, and he looked up at me. I lightly threw the Frisbee in his direction, and it hit him in the face. He was blind. FML

#20788974
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51299) - you deserved it (15831)

On 07/17/2013 at 7:15pm - kids - by WasntMe - United States

Today, I realized my online dating profile has gotten more views with no picture than it has with my picture. FML

#20772363
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42875) - you deserved it (4836)

On 07/09/2013 at 1:11pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was going to fight the guy who my girlfriend left me for. While waiting at the park, he sent me a video of the two of them having sex on my bed. FML

#20768398
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60819) - you deserved it (18980)

On 07/07/2013 at 8:35am - love - by SimG (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML

#20743211
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48684) - you deserved it (6843)

On 06/23/2013 at 7:36pm - kids - by joe - United States (Maryland)

Today, my drunk dad decided to wake me up by lobbing our cat directly into my now-mauled face. FML

#20739340
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37844) - you deserved it (2610)

On 06/21/2013 at 4:38pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, in public, a homeless guy looked me in the eyes and started wanking. FML

#20729997
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45800) - you deserved it (4215)

On 06/16/2013 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by scarredforlife - United States (New York)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML

#20668913
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43826) - you deserved it (2824)

On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)



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