Chilaxe

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Offline (the 01/19/2016 at 6:39pm)

Chilaxe

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5370
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 10 posted

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Chilaxe's page activity

Visits<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 7:24pm<b>EijiNeko</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 10:45am<b>spencer4148</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 11:14pm<b>Iniezian</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 2:59am<b>NykesterWaltzz</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 6:41pm<b>brunettedisaster</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 7:51am<b>whackingsoup</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 3:44pm<b>x0frnak</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 2:05pm<b>cdalton</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 9:39am<b>thomcmoore</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 7:34am<b>99volleyball99</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 1:22pm<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 1:02am<b>elvish7</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 2:41am<b>wild_cherry</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 6:26pm<b>tique22</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 8:12am<b>louisianababe93</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 6:57pm<b>cwaziemamma</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 8:14pm<b>SaintVeronika</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 3:03pm

Chilaxe's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of Chilaxe's badges

Chilaxe's favorite FMLs

Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2012 at 4:14pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my unemployed and very needy mother-in-law will be moving in with us soon. And during my conversation on the phone with her, she expects us to buy a house and my wife and I can "live with her." My wife agrees with all of this. FML

by nofrickenway / 04/24/2012 at 8:08pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I was pumping gas, when my daughter called me. After I hung up, I put my phone on the car roof while I grabbed my bag. I completely forgot about it and only realized when it shot off the roof as I braked at a traffic light. FML

by Katelyn / 04/20/2012 at 1:58pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML

by Baustigt / 04/10/2012 at 6:48am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to my first meeting at the university women's group, excited to become a more involved feminist. The first item on the meeting's agenda? The upcoming bake sale. FML

by feminismlol / 04/06/2012 at 12:45am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed a strange lady following me around in the mall. After a while I began to get creeped out, so I confronted her. Apparently she has to make sure everything she buys is better than what I buy. After a long silence she said, "What? You never noticed me before?" FML

by Eliza / 04/03/2012 at 11:40pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started my research project on horror stories and people's fascination with them. I did some research and wound up reading H.P. Lovecraft. On the upside, I can now pee more easily. On the downside, it's likely to be in my pants. FML

by Anonymous / 03/24/2012 at 6:05pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

by yamsterr / 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm / United States / Love

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML

by Autocorrected / 03/04/2012 at 12:02am / Philippines (Bulacan) / Love

Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML

by district12 / 02/18/2012 at 5:22pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Health

Today, I was so broke and hungry that I went to Olive Garden and faked being stood up, just so I could eat their breadsticks. FML

by 97 / 02/17/2012 at 4:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my wife posted on Facebook, "FUCK THA POLICE!" She got 40 likes. I'm a police officer. FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2012 at 10:19pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML

by haggisbowl / 01/14/2012 at 1:52am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML

by anonymous / 01/13/2012 at 12:05am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous