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Chilaxe

Offline (the 01/19/2016 at 6:39pm) | Search for a member

Chilaxe

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4710
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 10 posted

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Chilaxe's page activity

Visits<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 7:24pm<b>EijiNeko</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 10:45am<b>spencer4148</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 11:14pm<b>Iniezian</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 2:59am<b>NykesterWaltzz</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 6:41pm<b>brunettedisaster</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 7:51am<b>whackingsoup</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 3:44pm<b>x0frnak</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 2:05pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 10:36am<b>cdalton</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 9:39am<b>thomcmoore</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 7:34am<b>99volleyball99</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 1:22pm<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 1:02am<b>elvish7</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 2:41am<b>wild_cherry</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 6:26pm<b>tique22</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 8:12am<b>louisianababe93</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 6:57pm<b>cwaziemamma</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 8:14pm

Chilaxe's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of Chilaxe's badges

Chilaxe's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having lunch and I started throwing crumbs at my friend at the other table. Then I accidentally hit the kid next to him. He got really mad and came over and hit me in the shoulder with a brick. A brick. He just had a brick in his bag. FML

#21474273
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25065) - you deserved it (8644)

On 09/29/2015 at 6:00pm - work - by horp - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was wrestling in a tournament. I was in the finals about to win when the kid threw up on me. They thought I'd hit him in the stomach hard enough to make him throw up, so they disqualified me. FML

#21415763
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28155) - you deserved it (1885)

On 05/25/2015 at 10:24pm - misc - by wrestling probs - United States

Today, after a relaxing week away, my husband and I came home to discover our 17 year old son crashed one of our cars against the other. FML

#21396823
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29626) - you deserved it (3576)

On 04/20/2015 at 12:57pm - money - by ihatekids - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I once again had another guy's sweaty crotch pushed into my face. I still don't see why I enjoy wrestling. FML

Today, my friend told me that 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Since he's my friend, I didn't want to call him out too bad, so I joked that 90% of statistics are made up on the spot. He called me an idiot and lectured me on how I'd just made that figure up myself. I need new friends. FML

#21086436
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36530) - you deserved it (5801)

On 03/14/2014 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mum decided that having the flu and being too lazy to go upstairs to the bathroom is a valid excuse to shit in a jug instead. 5ML

#21038402
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43388) - you deserved it (3478)

On 01/24/2014 at 4:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML

#20963971
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28801) - you deserved it (69377)

On 11/19/2013 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, a guest of the private beach club I work at asked if I could do something about the water temperature in the ocean. I laughed, thinking it was a joke. She was serious and complained to my boss, saying I was absolutely no help. FML

#20837266
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45850) - you deserved it (2848)

On 08/14/2013 at 3:47pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML

#20733745
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57259) - you deserved it (9311)

On 06/18/2013 at 6:01pm - money - by No money, mo' problems - United States

Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML

#20697165
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32483) - you deserved it (36038)

On 05/31/2013 at 10:59am - animals - by fuckshitcockwaffle (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my fiancée broke off our engagement. For some bizarre reason, she'd hidden a pair of expensive boots and her iPad underneath our ride-on mower. I turned the mower on and destroyed both without realizing it. According to her, the fault is all mine. FML

#20630400
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55837) - you deserved it (3874)

On 04/29/2013 at 2:07pm - love - by Wow. Really? - United States (Ohio)

Today, I lost my dog and so I put up 'lost' signs. As I was coming back home I noticed one had been written on. It said: "Found your dog. Keeping it". FML

#20556107
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52378) - you deserved it (3359)

On 03/23/2013 at 7:43am - animals - by Hurrikhan - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I discovered the "may have a laxative effect" warning on my sugar-free jelly beans should actually read "don't fart after consuming". FML

#20543064
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31242) - you deserved it (5408)

On 03/14/2013 at 2:21am - health - by Kimberpoo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while working, I thought, "I wish my kittens could text so I can talk to them throughout the day." And then I realized, I'm that cat lady you read about. FML

#20532138
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34688) - you deserved it (13276)

On 03/05/2013 at 11:13am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I found out that my wife makes mashed potatoes by using her dirty feet to crush the potatoes because apparently this is a "healthy, natural" way to make them, and it also cleans her feet. I've been eating her mashed potatoes at least once every week. FML

#20531751
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47729) - you deserved it (4580)

On 03/05/2013 at 12:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) -



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