Chilaxe

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Offline (the 01/19/2016 at 6:39pm)

Chilaxe

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5097
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 10 posted

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Chilaxe's page activity

Visits<b>saturday17</b> - yesterday at 8:07am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 7:24pm<b>EijiNeko</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 10:45am<b>spencer4148</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 11:14pm<b>Iniezian</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 2:59am<b>NykesterWaltzz</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 6:41pm<b>brunettedisaster</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 7:51am<b>whackingsoup</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 3:44pm<b>x0frnak</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 2:05pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 10:36am<b>cdalton</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 9:39am<b>thomcmoore</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 7:34am<b>99volleyball99</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 1:22pm<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 1:02am<b>elvish7</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 2:41am<b>wild_cherry</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 6:26pm<b>tique22</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 8:12am<b>louisianababe93</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 6:57pm

Chilaxe's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of Chilaxe's badges

Chilaxe's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having lunch and I started throwing crumbs at my friend at the other table. Then I accidentally hit the kid next to him. He got really mad and came over and hit me in the shoulder with a brick. A brick. He just had a brick in his bag. FML

by horp / 09/29/2015 at 6:00pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, I was wrestling in a tournament. I was in the finals about to win when the kid threw up on me. They thought I'd hit him in the stomach hard enough to make him throw up, so they disqualified me. FML

by wrestling probs / 05/25/2015 at 10:24pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after a relaxing week away, my husband and I came home to discover our 17 year old son crashed one of our cars against the other. FML

by ihatekids / 04/20/2015 at 12:57pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Money

Today, I once again had another guy's sweaty crotch pushed into my face. I still don't see why I enjoy wrestling. FML

Today, my friend told me that 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Since he's my friend, I didn't want to call him out too bad, so I joked that 90% of statistics are made up on the spot. He called me an idiot and lectured me on how I'd just made that figure up myself. I need new friends. FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2014 at 11:15am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mum decided that having the flu and being too lazy to go upstairs to the bathroom is a valid excuse to shit in a jug instead. 5ML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2014 at 4:02pm / United Kingdom (West Lothian) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2013 at 10:42pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, a guest of the private beach club I work at asked if I could do something about the water temperature in the ocean. I laughed, thinking it was a joke. She was serious and complained to my boss, saying I was absolutely no help. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 3:47pm / United States / Work

Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML

by No money, mo' problems / 06/18/2013 at 6:01pm / United States / Money

Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML

by fuckshitcockwaffle / 05/31/2013 at 10:59am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

Today, my fiancée broke off our engagement. For some bizarre reason, she'd hidden a pair of expensive boots and her iPad underneath our ride-on mower. I turned the mower on and destroyed both without realizing it. According to her, the fault is all mine. FML

by Wow. Really? / 04/29/2013 at 2:07pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I lost my dog and so I put up 'lost' signs. As I was coming back home I noticed one had been written on. It said: "Found your dog. Keeping it". FML

by Hurrikhan / 03/23/2013 at 7:43am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Animals

Today, I discovered the "may have a laxative effect" warning on my sugar-free jelly beans should actually read "don't fart after consuming". FML

by Kimberpoo / 03/14/2013 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Health

Today, while working, I thought, "I wish my kittens could text so I can talk to them throughout the day." And then I realized, I'm that cat lady you read about. FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2013 at 11:13am / United States (Vermont) / Animals

Today, I found out that my wife makes mashed potatoes by using her dirty feet to crush the potatoes because apparently this is a "healthy, natural" way to make them, and it also cleans her feet. I've been eating her mashed potatoes at least once every week. FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2013 at 12:25am / Miscellaneous