About ChiddyBANGr : Island of Oahu. Junior in High School. Virgooo. Shyanne
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, after much self-doubt and awkwardness, I learned that I look amazing in a little black dress. Now I have to figure out what I'm going to tell my wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31192) - you deserved it (14412)
On 01/29/2013 at 12:28am - intimacy - by ohfuckwaffles (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (30003) - you deserved it (1428)
On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had to slowly explain to my son that an "analogy" is a literary device, not a genre of porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20197) - you deserved it (1836)
On 01/27/2013 at 1:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19556) - you deserved it (30241)
On 01/26/2013 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30713) - you deserved it (3979)
On 01/25/2013 at 5:19pm - health - by LagSwitchFTW (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25318) - you deserved it (3968)
On 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by great (man) - Puerto Rico
Today, I waited over 30 minutes in freezing cold weather for my bus. When it finally arrived, I went to get on board, but slipped and fell on the icy ground. The driver waited a whole 2 seconds before snorting, "Ain't nobody got time for this shit", closing the doors, and driving off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34434) - you deserved it (2463)
On 01/24/2013 at 4:25pm - misc - by frozensolid (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31663) - you deserved it (2061)
On 01/21/2013 at 11:08pm - misc - by daddy's girl - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I dragged my boyfriend to see Les Misérables with me. He now refuses to communicate with me through any medium other than singing. Apparently, this is his revenge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11682) - you deserved it (33786)
On 01/21/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by lesson.learned (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37913) - you deserved it (3549)
On 01/21/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by airbiscuit (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)
Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17052) - you deserved it (29724)
On 01/21/2013 at 1:32am - love - by black and yellow - United States (California)
Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29479) - you deserved it (2732)
On 01/18/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by Keastwood013 - United States
Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26140) - you deserved it (10130) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/18/2013 at 6:39am - animals - by dormeur - Sent from mobile version
Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31238) - you deserved it (3356)
Today, my grandfather asked me why the broccoli I served for dinner was white. I told him it was cauliflower. He would't believe me, accused me of being a Russian spy, and stormed out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25799) - you deserved it (1834)
On 01/15/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by veggieluver (woman) - United States (New York)
Monday 17 June 2013
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