About ChiddyBANGr : Island of Oahu. Junior in High School. Virgooo. Shyanne
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, a guy asked me out and said he was going to take me to a fancy restaurant where they make the food in front of you. I love Japanese food, so I was really excited. We went to Subway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25816) - you deserved it (4595)
On 04/11/2012 at 12:54pm - love - by mista_sandy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while walking to work, I swore I saw one of my old friends from college standing in the park across the street. I started shouting her name and waving my hands like a maniac to get her attention. It was a statue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7376) - you deserved it (14491)
On 04/10/2012 at 11:49pm - misc - by Becca (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8015) - you deserved it (27152)
On 04/09/2012 at 4:28am - animals - by stupidbug. (man) - Canada
Today, my anxiety was so bad that when I was riding my bike on the side walk and two pedestrians came walking in the opposite direction, I got so nervous about having to go between them or accidentally hitting them that I fell off my bike, into a bush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14873) - you deserved it (4408)
On 04/09/2012 at 1:31am - misc - by sydstreet - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28434) - you deserved it (2019)
On 04/05/2012 at 2:47am - intimacy - by displeased - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I realized that due to my obsession with House MD, I seem to have subconsciously developed a limp in my right leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5222) - you deserved it (16766)
On 04/03/2012 at 12:37pm - health - by spougeineye1 - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd never made a girl orgasm. I didn't think much of it until he decided to go down on me. Every time he got me close to orgasm, he'd stop and ask, "Are you about to come?" or "Does that feel good?" Now I can see why he's never made a girl orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22796) - you deserved it (2211)
On 04/02/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he said "I love you, baby." I told him to go deeper, but instead of doing so, he decided to completely kill the mood by stopping and saying it again in a Barry White type voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15642) - you deserved it (6897)
On 04/01/2012 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States
Today, I got my foot stuck in the car seat belt. I kept pulling to loosen it up but it just kept getting tighter till my foot was in the air, so I started panicking and eventually started crying. My boyfriend had to pull over and save me from a seat belt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6397) - you deserved it (15369)
On 03/29/2012 at 2:33am - misc - by greeneyedpothead - United States (California)
Today, I had to explain to my 15-year-old son why it wouldn't be a good idea to include a picture of the red Power Ranger in his "Weapons throughout history" project. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11828) - you deserved it (1967)
On 03/28/2012 at 6:49pm - kids - by laststand11 - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was not yet wearing my bouncer uniform when a fight broke out at a club. I intervened, only to have the cops who showed up tase me because they thought I was part of it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16802) - you deserved it (2852)
On 03/26/2012 at 8:17pm - work - by ramis182 - United States (Washington)
Today, I read an article with tips on how to give girls full-body orgasms and I decided to test a few on my girlfriend. Instead of having a mind-blowing orgasm, she started cackling and said I looked like a giraffe trying to bob for apples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15340) - you deserved it (3680)
On 03/26/2012 at 4:56pm - intimacy - by JC (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22332) - you deserved it (4407)
On 03/26/2012 at 10:54am - kids - by ohhdear.___. (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I woke up in jail charged with a DWI. I wasn't drinking last night and the only thing I remember is taking my prescription sleep medicine and lying down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21301) - you deserved it (1730)
On 03/25/2012 at 9:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I wore my new Brazilian thong bikini to the pool for the first time. I was lying face down feeling so sexy, until flies started buzzing my butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7190) - you deserved it (27803)
On 03/25/2012 at 11:34am - misc - by BookBabe (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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