About ChiddyBANGr : Island of Oahu. Junior in High School. Virgooo. Shyanne
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21724) - you deserved it (3610)
On 04/23/2012 at 12:04am - love - by gottalovefriends - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15163) - you deserved it (1517)
On 04/22/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I took off the training wheels of my niece's bike. I tried to show her how to ride it, but she told me to get off because I needed a fat girl's bike. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17587) - you deserved it (5213)
On 04/22/2012 at 8:09am - kids - by Mary Kathryn (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20714) - you deserved it (7959)
On 04/22/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by ultraattitude - United States (California)
Today, I was having a hard time waking up. When I sat down for breakfast, my chair rocked backwards. I reflexively grabbed out at something to hold on to. Unfortunately, I grabbed the cereal box that was on the table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14780) - you deserved it (2110) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/18/2012 at 12:38am - misc - by Fillifilo (woman) - France
Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28489) - you deserved it (2406)
On 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by lindsaykay - United States
Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14171) - you deserved it (24749)
On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada
Today, I had to get stitches on my foot and was then forced to wear a plastic bag on my foot while showering. The plastic bag made me slip in the shower and had to go back and get stitches in my forehead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (91) - you deserved it (1721)
On 04/15/2012 at 7:39pm - health - by Shone - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (9702) - you deserved it (39857) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France
Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML
I agree, your life sucks (11082) - you deserved it (24439)
On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, a guy asked me out and said he was going to take me to a fancy restaurant where they make the food in front of you. I love Japanese food, so I was really excited. We went to Subway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24329) - you deserved it (3752)
On 04/11/2012 at 12:54pm - love - by mista_sandy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while walking to work, I swore I saw one of my old friends from college standing in the park across the street. I started shouting her name and waving my hands like a maniac to get her attention. It was a statue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7355) - you deserved it (14424)
On 04/10/2012 at 11:49pm - misc - by Becca (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7606) - you deserved it (21774)
On 04/09/2012 at 4:28am - animals - by stupidbug. (man) - Canada
Today, my anxiety was so bad that when I was riding my bike on the side walk and two pedestrians came walking in the opposite direction, I got so nervous about having to go between them or accidentally hitting them that I fell off my bike, into a bush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13685) - you deserved it (3528)
On 04/09/2012 at 1:31am - misc - by sydstreet - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28293) - you deserved it (2012)
On 04/05/2012 at 2:47am - intimacy - by displeased - United States (North Carolina)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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