About ChiddyBANGr : Island of Oahu. Junior in High School. Virgooo. Shyanne
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44811) - you deserved it (7229)
On 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28568) - you deserved it (94412)
Today, I was trying sell a customer a top-of-the-line surround sound system. Apparently he was aware that I work on commission, as he threatened to buy the system elsewhere unless I sang Rebecca Black's "Friday" in front of the whole store. Goodbye, self-respect. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37602) - you deserved it (4430)
On 04/21/2013 at 12:03pm - money - by a little less poor at least (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44645) - you deserved it (5214)
On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40614) - you deserved it (4302)
On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my halitosis was so bad that when I blew onto my solution in chemistry class, it reacted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22967) - you deserved it (7006) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/09/2013 at 6:29am - health - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, the power was out. I tried to explain to my boyfriend that he wouldn't be able to watch any TV until the power came back on. His response was, "But we have Netflix." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32357) - you deserved it (4367)
Today, I told my bald, goatee-sporting chemistry teacher that he looks like Walt from Breaking Bad. I quickly got sent to the principal's office and received a 3-day suspension for "slandering" my teacher by implying that he makes meth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29164) - you deserved it (4372)
On 04/04/2013 at 4:07pm - misc - by me (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32712) - you deserved it (4923)
On 04/04/2013 at 2:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)
Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39702) - you deserved it (11992)
On 04/04/2013 at 12:04pm - intimacy - by Ribbed for Her Disaster (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)
Today, I was lost in a foreign city so I asked a girl for directions. She replied, "Directions? ONE DIRECTION!" and started screaming in my face and jumping around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36759) - you deserved it (3491)
On 04/03/2013 at 5:17am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boss threatened to fire me for killing him in Minecraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29725) - you deserved it (5481)
On 04/02/2013 at 6:30am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He slowly turned to face me, raised an eyebrow, and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17026) - you deserved it (45924)
On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)
Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML
I agree, your life sucks (60174) - you deserved it (5771)
On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)
Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31829) - you deserved it (4579)
On 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Monday 20 May 2013
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