About CheshireHalli : I'm currently a staff accountant for a small town accounting firm. I love playing with Halloween makeup, but I love Batman more. :) im pretty friendly, so send me a message if you'd like to talk.
CheshireHalli's FML badges
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
CheshireHalli's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 04/15/2016 at 3:46pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, while opening up to a few friends about how I was sexually abused as a child, one of them blurted "Pics or it didn't happen." How did the others react? With outrage? No, just with awkward chuckling. FML
by Anonymous / 04/13/2016 at 10:04am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that my violent ex has moved to my country for the sole purpose of tracking me down. I know this because my former boss called and told me she gave him my address. She loves the idea of us getting back together because, "You are such a cute couple!" FML
by running scared / 04/08/2016 at 5:40am / Norway / Love
Today, $1,000 were stolen from a deposit box to which only I and a coworker have access. I was so nervous during my interrogation that the cop said he had no doubt I was the one who stole the money. I had nothing to do with it. FML
by cats1234 / 04/07/2016 at 3:19pm / Canada (Alberta) / Money
by Shotacon / 04/06/2016 at 11:06pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, I asked my mom if she wanted to go wedding dress shopping with me today. She reluctantly said, "I guess". I showered, shaved and did my hair and makeup. When I came downstairs, she hadn't even brushed her teeth yet. "I'm just lacking motivation to go," she said. Glad you're so excited too. FML
by NotTheFavoriteChild / 04/03/2016 at 12:53pm / Love
by ktpnothappening / 04/03/2016 at 12:03pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love
by WHY / 03/31/2016 at 8:58pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, I put up a sign asking motorcyclists to slow down near horses, as the noise can spook them. While I was riding near the sign, a biker slowed to read it, looked at me, then revved his engine loudly and raced off. My horse bucked me off into some brambles and bolted. FML
by BriarFace / 03/28/2016 at 9:56pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
Today, I went on my first date. When we got to the restaurant he started hitting on the waitress. As soon as we sat down he took out his iPod and watched a video, then took out his phone and went on Tinder. Then about a minute before the bill came he dissapeared to the bathroom for 20 minutes. FML
by hollyglambert / 03/27/2016 at 1:21pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by Liz / 03/26/2016 at 3:26pm / United States (California) / Work
by joanikens / 03/26/2016 at 3:02pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, while at work I got a complaint from a guest. She complained that after spending 2 hours to get her hair done for a wedding, she got drenched with water from a child. I work at a WATER PARK. Thank you for calling me a pathetic asshat for no reason in front of other guests. FML
by Anonymous / 03/20/2016 at 6:46pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, my 2-year-old daughter started showing signs of understanding the potty training concept. She announced to my mother-in-law that she needed to go potty, only to be flatly told, "No, you don't." So she crapped herself. Now it's going to take forever to train her. FML
by Disgruntled / 03/16/2016 at 8:01am / United States (Michigan) / Kids
by yblamemebiatch / 03/16/2016 at 6:56am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
- Today, i was asked to keep a bottle of coke in my backpack while we were walking in the park. Half… Today, my dad brought home yet another different brand of dog food. Today was also the day I spent… Today, my housemate called a house meeting. She opened the meeting by asking me to find a new place…