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Today, I am in a very long line at the supermarket, gazing about in complete boredom when I spot a lady cradling what appears to be a cute newborn baby. Being enamored of all babies, I get off the line, go over and say "Oh, what a cute little baby!" The lady was holding a coconut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4374) - you totally deserved it (24766)
On 10/10/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by BEE (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (40014) - you totally deserved it (8243)
On 08/02/2009 at 12:21am - love - by thefailure (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I brought my lunch to work in the only box I had lying around my apartment - a small one from FedEx. When I went to the bathroom before lunch, I returned to my desk to find that one of my coworkers had mailed my lunch back to my apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29273) - you totally deserved it (5646)
On 07/27/2009 at 3:12pm - work - by fedexed (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46115) - you totally deserved it (1665)
On 07/27/2009 at 3:07pm - misc - by webperson04 (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36745) - you totally deserved it (8424)
On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, my boss walked in my office to see me busy making a little Post-it dress for my pen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7099) - you totally deserved it (32621)
On 07/09/2009 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - France (Midi-Pyrenees)
Today, the cops showed up to check out a child abuse complaint, I then had to spend an hour explaining that I had given my son a suppository. The neighbors heard him sobbing hysterically "Daddy, why did you put that in my butt? It hurts." My neighbor had heard and thought I was raping my son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56475) - you totally deserved it (2422)
On 06/24/2009 at 5:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42227) - you totally deserved it (2069)
On 06/16/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I thought I saw a woodchuck far out in my yard. I wanted to take a cool picture of it so I slowly crept closer and closer to it. I spent half an hour sneaking up on a log. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9430) - you totally deserved it (30227)
On 06/14/2009 at 11:37pm - misc - by thelarkscaw (man) - United States (North Carolina)
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