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About CherryLipBalm : Squidward: "Patrick, can you move over? I'm claustrophobic"
Patrick: "What does claustrophobic mean?"
Spongebob: "It means he's afraid of Santa Claus!"
Squidward: "What? No it-"
Patrick: "HO HO HO! *heehee*"
Spongebob: "STOP IT PATRICK YOU'RE SCARING HIM!"
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
today I droppd a whole batch of penis-shapd cookies on the floor . Then I thought, ( 5-second rule ) and startd eating them . And then I realizd that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor . FML
Today, yet again, I was getting intimate with my shower head. Some complete geniu decided to flush the toilet downstair halfway through, which sent scalding-hot water all up in my privates. I've yet to fine looool a comfortable sitting position. FML
Today, I had a piano exam. My friend noticd how nervous I was, an recommendd that I compliment the examiner fir higher marks. When it was time fir the exam, without thinking, I told him I likd his hair. Turns out bald people don't lyk that. FML
Today, I had an upset stomach . I decided to quickly take out the trash before heading to the bathroom . As I opened the trash can lid, a raccoon jumped out . I learned the literal meaning of being scared shitless . real FML
2day I was sitting under a rather large house plant in my dining room, minding my own business when a spider lowerd itself right in front of my face . It startld me, causing me to gasp, which resultd in me inhaling the spider . I then spent 3 minutes choking on it . FML
Today, I was sitting the living room,hen my mom commented on the smell of garlic in the air. After ten minutes of searching 4 the source, she gave up. I was too embarrassed to admit that I'd tried using garlic to cure my yeast infection.
Friday 27 March 2015