CherishFlowers

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CherishFlowers

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 55613
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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CherishFlowers's page activity

Visits<b>CBL88</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 10:22am<b>Jude64</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 7:17am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 2:10pm<b>imshadyxo</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 1:39pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 1:27pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 8:23am<b>MrBoombastixa</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 4:53am<b>PatriciaAra</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 12:02pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 12:15am<b>DarkSatan5</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 4:55pm<b>heylady6911</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 10:09pm<b>jonny1ton</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 2:49pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 7:56pm<b>gators1995</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 6:42pm<b>psd60</b> - the 01/18/2013 at 4:29pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:10pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 2:52am<b>girlslikeboyz</b> - the 01/10/2010 at 12:44am

CherishFlowers's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

CherishFlowers's favorite FMLs

Today, I hinted at getting it on towards my wife (it's been 2 weeks since we last did). She answered with "no I'm to tired", within 2 minutes she said, "I'm gonna go use the treadmill". She got all hot and sweaty for about 30 minutes, but it was with the treadmill. FML

by tripb101 / 04/22/2009 at 2:47pm / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML

by RockedSystem / 04/22/2009 at 1:39am / United States (Alabama) / Work

Today, I finally exchanged pictures with the woman I've been seeing online for some time now. She replied, saying "Thats not funny. Some people actually look like that." I sent my real picture, and thought I actually looked pretty good in it. FML

by Anon / 04/21/2009 at 2:21pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, I went out for a smoke break. A homeless person walks up to me and asks for a cig. As I pull out my pack he says "Oh... Menthols... no I don't smoke that cheap shit". I was called cheap by a hobo. FML

by Kaboom / 04/21/2009 at 8:52am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

by anonymous / 04/21/2009 at 1:42am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I were talking about names for our expectant child. I told him since I named our daughter he could name our son. He's decided on a name from 'God of War'. My son is going to be named after a make-believe cartoon character - Kratos. FML

by Anonymous / 04/21/2009 at 12:43am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I was emailing my professor about what chapters our test is on this afternoon. She accidentally emailed me informing me of the date she went on last night, including that she "got laid... yay!!" and a picture. I still don't know what chapters I'm being tested on. FML

by TMI / 04/20/2009 at 1:12pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend decided to take me to dinner to meet his parents. As we pulled into the restaurant valet I saw a woman in a slutty dress and hooker heels get out of the car ahead of us. I jokingly asked if we had accidentally pulled into a strip club pointing to the woman. It was his mother. FML

by SuperBunny / 04/20/2009 at 3:59am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I got T-boned by a woman going 60 mph. I was unconscious for hours while a tube was inserted into my collapsed lung. Upon waking up my 16-year old brother thought it would be hilarious to yank out my leg hairs. FML

by robinhoood / 04/20/2009 at 1:53am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was sick on an airplane. As we were taking off, I felt like I was ready to hurl. I was sitting in the window seat and was unable to get up in time to go to the bathroom so I was forced to grab the nearest container to puke in. It was a glass of juice belonging to the woman next to me. FML

by thompson773 / 04/20/2009 at 12:53am / United States (Michigan) / Transportation

Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML

by Litterbox / 04/19/2009 at 10:09pm / United States (Texas) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML

by yuckspider / 04/19/2009 at 8:17pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals

Today, I woke up with really dry, chapped lips. Still in bed, without my glasses on, I sleepily reached down into my purse for some chapstick and applied it. Upon awakening later I realized I had mistaken a mini Sharpie permanent marker for chapstick. I have a job interview today. FML

by pinkblankets / 04/18/2009 at 9:55pm / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, I was responsible for taking care of Hoppers, the rabbit belonging to my sons 3rd grade class. Tomorrow my son returns Hoppers so the next student can care for him. That won't be happening because Hoppers hopped out my 5th story window. FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2009 at 5:12pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I went swinging with my friend at the park. Seeing a few cute guys playing basketball, I tried to act cute, laughing loudly and letting my hair fly all over the place. Just as they look over the swing broke. I fell on my face, my jeans sliding down, mooning them. They laughed hysterically. FML

by xxxdwangelaxxx / 04/18/2009 at 5:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Love