CherishFlowers

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CherishFlowers

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 55318
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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CherishFlowers's page activity

Visits<b>Jude64</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 7:17am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 2:10pm<b>imshadyxo</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 1:39pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 1:27pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 8:23am<b>MrBoombastixa</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 4:53am<b>PatriciaAra</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 12:02pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 12:15am<b>DarkSatan5</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 4:55pm<b>heylady6911</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 10:09pm<b>jonny1ton</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 2:49pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 7:56pm<b>gators1995</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 6:42pm<b>psd60</b> - the 01/18/2013 at 4:29pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:10pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 2:52am<b>girlslikeboyz</b> - the 01/10/2010 at 12:44am<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 10/27/2009 at 5:59pm

CherishFlowers's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

CherishFlowers's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the library. I went near the computer section when I saw this man cursing and pounding his fists on a computer. He left. I thought I'd check it out. As I sat down, a librarian came over with the security guard and pointed at me. I'm now being fined for destroying public property. FML

by weliveanddie14 / 05/07/2009 at 4:27pm / United States (Texas) / Geek

Today, I was desperately handing out resumes. I came to my local grocery store and asked for a job application, the customer service rep told me all she needed was my resume. I smiled and gave it to her only to see her read it, laugh and put it straight in the garbage as I walked out. FML

by nojob / 05/07/2009 at 3:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I was walking to class with my roommate. She didn't notice the car coming up behind her because her headphones were in. As I pulled her out of the way, she thought I was goofing around and shoved me back... in front of the car. I got hit and rolled off the hood. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2009 at 3:11pm / Italy (Toscana) / Health

Today, I went to the pet store to get mice for my mom's snakes. While checking out, the guy working behind the register asked what kind of snakes I had. I told him they were my mom's and he mentioned this crazy woman that talks to her snakes. That's my mom. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2009 at 1:22pm / United States / Animals

Today, I was in the middle of walking home when I saw an old woman trying to get away from what looked like a mugger. I go over and try to help her out and get the man off of her, which was successful. Turns out she was having a heart attack and the man was a doctor. FML

by JuniorDetective / 05/07/2009 at 12:52pm / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I told my students that I would be absent tomorrow because my wife was giving birth. They burst into applause... not to congratulate me on the new baby. FML

by spanishteach / 05/07/2009 at 10:50am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML

by eeh / 05/07/2009 at 10:45am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I released some ducks I had hand raised with my sisters at a local lake. They were raised around my huge German Shepherd, which explains why they didn't freak out when two huge dogs came out of no where and killed three of them, in front of my little sisters. FML

by Kels20 / 05/07/2009 at 10:18am / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I baked a chicken pot pie in the oven. I pulled it out, and noticed a big piece of tasty-looking, flaky pastry had come loose. Without thinking I ripped it off and popped it into my mouth. I HEARD the skin on the inside of my cheeks burn. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2009 at 8:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I picked up my passport, as my previous one was damaged in a car crash. As the teller warns me that a pattern of damaged passports will result in longer processing periods, she spills her coffee - all over my new passport. I'm supposed to go overseas in a month. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2009 at 12:29am / Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi) / Holidays

Today, I realized my wedding ring was missing. Turns out, my son had taken it to give to a girl he likes in the 2nd grade. FML

by fmal / 05/06/2009 at 11:47pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy keeps saying she sits on her daddy's lap and plays with his peter." My daughter meant 'puter, as in computer. Now the school is worried my husband is a child molester. FML

by Gumfanatic302 / 05/06/2009 at 9:43pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids

Today, I got industrial toilet cleaner in my eyes. Despite the raging fire party going on behind my eyelids, I resisted the urge to stop, drop, and roll, and calmly got in the shower to wash it off. Wherein I promptly slipped, fell, and whacked my head full-force on the bathtub on the way down. FML

by twoheadedboy / 05/06/2009 at 4:46pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, after practicing a song for my girlfriend on guitar all day, I called her over to my house to show it to her. After a long speech about how "this is for you," I played for about 3 seconds before I broke a string, which slapped her in her face. FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2009 at 4:12pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Love

Today, my 3 year old nephew was sitting on my knee at the computer. He was annoying me as he kept on pressing all the buttons. To scare him off I did a creepy voice in his ear that makes him cry. He turned round and broke my nose. FML

by ElamentalAngel / 05/06/2009 at 1:04pm / United Kingdom / Kids